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  1. Celibacy for creative reasons

    This May will mark the completion of my 20th year upon this earth. Becoming 20 has definitely caused me to realize that the next 10 or so years will probably be the prime of my life, when I will have the most potential to do or achieve anything I want. These days, time seems to be passing quicker to me as well, which probably indicates that I need to use it wisely. I've struggled with creativity ever since becoming a young adult, and it has become even harder as I've grown into a man and become subject to hormonal urges. I know this is natural but I feel that being essentially an animal at the mercy of these urges is not a good thing either, and is a drain on life force. Basic logic indicates that the more distracted I am with purely sexual feelings, then the less open my heart will be, and the less open my creative mind will be. The way I can sense that I need to return to cultivation and/or celibacy is when the sex energy starts seeming dull or un-potent. I think that the way it works is that the more sex energy you expend, the less powerful it becomes. Sex is enjoyable, yet doesn't necessarily make me happy. I compare it to other physical sensations, which are pleasurable but very fleeting in the grand scheme of things. On the other hand, I feel that other capacities of humans - love, creativity, compassion, are eternal. I like deep sensational feelings of the soul, and to me the sensations of the body that sex offers are just an analogue to that, essentially these two are yin and yang. Neither are bad, but they need harmony. I'm not currently with anyone at present, though I have been in the past. Currently I'm not sexually interested in anyone whom my heart is not with. I feel that creativity is something my heart is at least more invested in, in present. I've been celibate in the past and I've noticed that it become more intense the longer it goes on. I recall it feeling like a constant heat, which at times could make me angry but at other times I would feel very emotionally vulnerable, and also more aware of the world. I read that after 600 days of celibacy a man will reset to the jing-life force strength of a young and vigorous 16-year old boy. I'm not a huge fan of specific numbers, but if an older man can attain that in that amount of time, I, at 20, should have no problem after a year and a half of celibacy. The ability to transmute the energy into creative things is something that I've only learned to do with time, also, and no small amount of practice and maturity on my part. However, I've had confidence issues in the past, and the good news is that being celibate makes you bold and confident almost by default (at least in my experience).