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Hi! I am new here and I want to share a story from last year. I started reading about energy, quantum entanglement and a lot of different conspiracy theories. I sort of knew something more is out there that only a few have discovered so far. Every theory out here can´t be wrong. I wanted to dig deeper and put the theories to test and see it for my self. At one time I realized my hearth was blocked and started to wonder, how do I get that warm feeling like when you find your lovemate? I have not had that feeling in a very long time. I started to try meditating to see if it has any type of effect what so ever. I also experimented with two types of breathing techniques. I meditated for 10 to 30 minutes for almost 2 months the same was for the two breathing techniques. One of the breathing techniques was the rapid-breathing and the other one was the Iceman breathing. While meditating or not I always tried to visualise the feeling I wanted to have, almost like you do when trying to set a manifestation. One day after around two months I get this feeling I was looking for, but this time the feeling was maybe around 10 times larger than the feeling you normally have when you see a lovemate/soulmate. At first, I thought something was wrong I felt a warm energy in my stomach area and all the way up to my hearth. It was so intense that I almost could not stand straight up, it felt like someone punched me in my stomach with a fist. That punch came in specific intervals. I am not 100% sure what caused this to happen but I guess it was the combination of all of the above described. Can anyone tell me what physically happened in my body that made this feeling happen? With more knowledge about our bodies and energy I am now trying to achieve it again but to advance further.
It occurred to me last year that you cannot heal pain without first feeling pain, cannot heal suffering without first suffering yourself. With this understanding I have let myself feel, richly and deeply, for perhaps the first time since I was a young child. I flung open the gates, unlocked the portcullis, and let what was outside come in. At first it was liberating, exciting even. Then, as the months carried on, it grew increasingly painful, ultimately terrifying. I began to experience panic attacks. This was completely new to me! This week, perhaps exacerbated by the extreme heat that blanketed my region, I felt something in me break. Perhaps break is not the correct word. I felt something inside me give way, and in giving way I learned something about myself that I never realized. I cannot do it alone. I need others. This may sound obvious, but it was not to me, far from it. I've always been stoic, a real stiff upper lip kind of guy. I've always felt that I could reason my way through life, through all challenges before me. And I always looked down upon the emotional and saw them as weak. I was wrong on both counts. Reason and stoicism do not make you strong. Emotion and feeling do not make you weak. It is the balance that brings strength. It is the balance that heals. The road is long and the trek is hard. I still feel pain and the pain still carries suffering, but I feel I have finally crested the hill and I can see the blessed water in the distance.