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Showing results for tags 'fearlessness'.
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Open discussion. I'll start with an anecdote. As my life is setup right now, I work in an emergency department as a doctor. I see all kinds of people there. I face pretty intense situations and have to keep my cool. Throughout my months of taking upon the "doctor" role, I have become more and more confident in these types of situations. At first I held a lot of fear about what would happen and how to handle specific situations, but once you learn it, a lot of that fear disappears. This is not to say that the work cannot still be stressful, in that there's a lot to do and many obligations, lots to manage at the same time, pressures, it can still be depleting, etc. - but I wouldn't use the word fear anymore to describe my feelings toward it. As I drove home from grocery shopping today with my significant other, I crossed the road turning left, following the rules correctly, looking right and left, seeing a car to my left that blinks to the right, and think "okay, free ahead", and suddenly this guy overtakes the car in front of him about to turn, driving at least 70km/h where you're allowed to drive 50 km/h and has to push the brakes powerfully to avoid colliding into the side of the road. Instead of seeing his own mistake, he turns his car around, drives behind me and flashes the lights multiple times. Drives closer and closer very aggressively. At this point not only my significant other but also myself feel adrenaline rushing into the body and fueling the mind, "what should we do?" "maybe he'll hurt us". The classic fight-and-flight response. We've heard lots of stories around where we live which is close to a ghetto-place where many crazy things unfold. We turn the corner and he's still following aggressively so I decide to drive the car to the side, and he drives up next to me, and I roll down the window slightly. I think as he realises I'm not going to blame him, he simply says "Didn't you see I was coming?", and I just said something like, "It was a very unfortunate incident", and he says, "oh okay, just look next time", he seems to cool his demeanor and then gives a nod and drives away. Afterwards I'm struck by a deep disappointment in myself. Why was I that afraid? Why did my body and mind react so violently? It did not in any way or form help the situation. There was no point to it. I could've had the same conversation with him, perhaps much better, if I had been in a fearless state of mind. Instead, I was unconfident and afraid and answered him timidly. My significant other said it was overall well done as I defused the situation which could've gone a lot worse if we were unlucky and I had pushed him, as the guy was clearly looking for a fight. Maybe. I still can't help but think that fear ultimately doesn't help and it surely doesn't feel like it's a wise or elevated state to be in either. On the contrary. So that made me think... what is fear exactly? It disappeared as quickly as it came. But is it just ignorance? Ignorance of the unknown? Or is it rather all about attachment to life? Being afraid of losing what one has? Or is it instead simply all due to weak "kidneys", and people with strong kidneys never really feel fear like that? Either way, would be curious to hear people's thoughts. How does a practictioner approach fear? How does a practictioner eventually overcome it completely?