Thus-gone

Hi everyone, I am doing some very simple cultivation (just standing in wuji) and it is going really well. But I have a little paranoia that always gets in the way of my motivation. It goes something like this: if I cultivate to the point where sensing and moving chi is pretty easy, wouldn't it be pretty easy to inadvertently hurt myself with it? For example: do you ever feel the strange temptation when you're near a sharp knife to cut yourself or do something crazy with it? Not in a serious way, but just as a passing thought? Well, what if the same thing happened with your own chi - like thinking randomly, "what would happen if I shot all of this stuff directly into my brain?" And then inadvertently doing so just because you had the thought? Or does it take an extended period of real intention to do damage to yourself, like doing a practice incorrectly over some period of time? I hope this is clear; it's definitely bugging me! Thank you all, tg

Thanks everyone! This is all very helpful.

No, I don't think chi kung will exacerbate minor neuroses - if it did, it would be useless. "Thus-gone" is a translation of the word Tathagata, which I think is a very interesting word. It seems you missed the point of my original post.

So I just began incorporating a bare-bones zhan zhuang exercise into my meditation practice. I have no experience with energy work, but I do have a relatively extensive (and fruitful) history with meditation (I'm a full-time zen practitioner). As such, I am already very sensitive to chi and its movement in the body, and can manipulate it to a small degree with my awareness. So far, the standing practice has been incredibly beneficial. It has very quickly begun its process of grounding and balancing the energy that I've accumulated in my meditation. One thing that has been quite distressing lately has been a feeling of uncomfortable vibrations around my lower abdomen, which was linked to a general sense of anxiety and tension throughout the body. So this evening during a round of formal sitting, I started to feel, as usual, the unpleasant vibrations in my abdomen and its concomitant sensations of fear, ungroundedness and tension. But after a few minutes of this I began to notice the sensation of my legs more and more as energy began to forcefully ground itself downwards. And then, very suddenly, all the vibrations and tension in the lower abdomen, along with the general feelings of fear and ungroundedness, completely dissolved and I was left with an immaculate stillness. Instantly, I was able to breathe about two times deeper than I thought was even possible. My abdomen has become way, way more flexible. I feel a deep, unmoving groundedness and integration with my core. So I don't really know anything about energy work and thus don't have a framework with which to identify what happened. It does feel like a permanent shift - definitely doesn't have the flavor of a fleeting experience. So far I've noticed that my concentration has improved dramatically. I feel exquisitely normal. Was this an opening of some sort? What is the theory behind all this? I'm curious about what the implications are, and where to go from here. Thanks very much for your time!

Reading this thread, it's hard not to notice how your thoughts and perspective are over-influenced by your energetic/spiritual state. When you're at a low point, you say that you're at "the end of the line" and bemoan existence...When you're at a high point, you're grateful and cheery. This is the first thing you need to work on. If you don't put effort into maintaining equanimity through both the low and high points of your practice, you will continue to be dangerously vulnerable and won't progress spiritually. The fact is that all of these states are impermanent. The positive feelings you have now will probably be gone in a few days. The dreadful feelings that may replace them will probably be gone a few days after that. If you can't see these states for what they are - fleeting aggregates of sensations - you will never be able to transcend them. Trust me: people have gone through some insanely hellish and long dark nights to get to enlightenment. In my opinion, that is the most noble expression of the human condition.

Hey everyone. I'm a full-time Zen Buddhist practitioner and have just begun incorporating some chi kung into my practice recently, so far to great effect. I'm here to learn, and maybe even to give some advice when things veer into my "turf". Thanks for the opportunity!

Just wanted to tell you that, for someone who practices any kind of insight meditation, what you describe is extremely familiar and common. At many junctures in intensive meditation, extraordinary bliss or other kinds of otherworldly experiences will give way rather quickly to what is called the "dark night of the soul". Contrary to how it feels, it is in fact a sign of spiritual progress - you are closer to the goal of a permanent baseline perceptual shift. I'm not sure if energy practices alone can navigate you forward from this territory, though I definitely believe they can. Otherwise, or on the side, you will want to look into some kind of insight meditation; this could include vipassana, silent illumination, or similar practices. Ultimately the goal is to develop equanimity towards and mindful acceptance of all the sensations that constitute your present state, until those sensations themselves dissolve into pure equanimity. From there, it's only one step further to attain a very positive baseline shift.