emptiness

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  1. Semen Retention: 100 Days and My Experiences

    I've really appreciated the comments. I'm glad we have this online community. It would also be wonderful if there were a taobums face to face weekly meeting. That would be so nice. Perhaps more information than you probably need, I read about prostate massage here or on another site. I hadn't tried it as I had a lot of things on my to-do list and I just didn't feel up for it. But the stuck prostate was a good motivator. I read and watched some videos and tried it. It feels SO important if I'm going to retain. I didn't have the pleasure so many people write about but it was a huge release. It's tricky to sort out dogma from necessity from any tradition, let alone a tradition from another country. I have a strong feeling some kind of prostate massage was part of the practices for the guys retaining in Asia. It seems very necessary for me. And for a lot more information than you were expecting, I also do craniosacral therapy and started doing craniosacral work around my prostate, etc. I've never heard of that before and it wasn't easy working on myself. There can be so much held emotion in that area, any fear, anger, sexual feelings, etc. The release was huge and it opened energy down into my feet, and opened my pelvic bowl, etc. I felt a thousand times lighter after. The pressure affected my mood, outlook, whole body. I learned some things. After my year retreat I wanted to start dating. When I'm heavily in retention I'm not flirty with women. It's too tough to contain the energy. When my energy is more out there sexually it's difficult to retain. I feel a stronger need to have sex or masturbate if I'm not having sex. So I was flirting more, my thoughts are drifting to fantasy, I'm looking more at any media, tv, etc. with content that's not helping. I had started masturbating then circulating the energy. And my prostate started getting tight. It was like I wasn't in or out. I'm not really in retention of watching my eyes and mind, doing a lot of practices, MCO, etc., and I'm not having sex and releasing (and obviously you don't have to release with sex but in the early part of relationships I end up releasing more.) I'm also channeling a lot of energy, for me, and I can see if that it's even more important to stay grounded and clear with my energy. It's also important for me not to be in shadow and using the practices to avoid a relationship because the practices are easier. I still wish I could have a lot of face to face conversations. I get a whole feeling of the package of how someone is living. Right now the two people most helpful to me and whose path's are most influential, are in relationships. Someone wrote a large post about one level of open-hardheartedness. That's what I've been working on. I'd like to stay with the intention of keeping my heart open, staying with my practices, staying with retention, making new friends men and women in the new place I'm at. And I would like to start dating now. I guess I'm thinking out loud. I'll probably also do the prostate cranial sacral work once a week. Be well guys.
  2. Semen Retention: 100 Days and My Experiences

    I also noticed you started this thread. I hear a lot of different view points and read different view points. I do really well with open minded people and objective people. It's challenging not being able to see people live so you can see how they live and the results of their practices and choices. All that said, I wish I had an overview for retention. I feel so much healthier, creative, alive, curious, vital, etc. when I'm retaining. I feel like I age 15 years if I have releases for a couple weeks (I had health problems years ago but feel great when I'm retaining). When I'm immersed in my taoist practices it greatly reduces sexual, I'll call it agitation, for lack of a better word. I have a lot of energy, but it's energy that I can use for anything, including sexuality, and sexuality and sex are a choice when I'm retaining, I don't feel whipped around by my sexual urges. However, if i'm 60-90+ days in retention and not able to do a lot of MSOs I've started masturbating then stopped without ejaculating. My mentor said if it goes to far and I feel the ejaculation I need to release. The last time I think it went too far and I didn't release, that's when I started feeling like needing to pee a lot. As I mentioned before I was also on retreat and in retention for most of that time, and I might have built more energy than I needed. However, I was also working with plant medicine and that was taking a lot of energy. I was also in an area with poor food and even the best choices weren't great. So I don't know. It's vulnerable writing all this. Ideally I wouldn't be doing this on the internet but there aren't Taoists that I know of in my city. An overview from open-minded, grounded, people very experienced and knowledgeable about this would be helpful. It would probably be helpful to hear from men who've been in healthy relationships and like being in relationships who view sex as healthy, and who also have experienced the power of retention, and could chose to do either based on what they are needing in the moment. I might not have all the information for the right questions. My questions are around this: When is retention helpful, when not helpful? Is long term retention not good for the prostate? Is long term retention not good for the prostate even with total celibacy, no sex, no masturbation? Is long term retention not good if with sex or masturbation? (over 100 days and I need to be doing the MCO every day or every other day to not masturbate.) When does sex deplete energy, when does it add to awakenings and deepening of the practices (I mentioned a long time ago I had an experience with one girlfriend where we we're fully clothed and doing MCO's together and expanded out into the everything. It was very beautiful. It only happened once, but was the precursor for deeper understandings about interconnectedness and emptiness that have been continuing since. Most often when I have sex with women it feels draining, but I usually have a high level of chi from the practices and good nutrition.) As I'm writing this I can see I need more help. This is more than an internet thread. I'd appreciate any suggestions on resources, instructors, etc. I'm in South America now. Thanks guys, joy and health to all of you.
  3. Semen Retention: 100 Days and My Experiences

    Thanks for the suggestion. But man, I haven't seen a doctor for years. I don't get along well with western medicine. But, I have a phenomenal nutritionist, who can treat almost anything with nutrition. And yeah, I should probably give her a call. In fact I'll do that. And I'm in a new city, but I can also look for an acupuncturist, tho it's not easy to find a really good one.
  4. Pain in prostate from stagnation?

    Hi All, I've been immersed in Taoist practices for about a half dozen years now. They've been a large focus of my life. And before that many, many years of other practices. I'm feeling stuckness in my prostate now. I'm 49 years old. ** I'm interested in messaging a couple/few guys who have experience with retention, who have good understanding of the practices (MCO, Fusion FE, etc.), have a clear view of costs and benefits of different ways of working with semen retention and clearing the prostate. There are so many people and so much content on here. I'd love to talk to people who are really good this and look calmly and objectively at ways to proceed. (I realize there are posts on this, but my preference is talk with a few people who are objective, open, and experienced.) I'm often retaining as I find that very powerful. I was on retreat last year and a lot of that was in retention as that was more powerful for me. I had a girlfriend before that and was not in retention as much. Both are fine, just different choices for different reasons. Before I could clear my prostate with ejaculation and MCO and my other practices. Now it's not clearing. I have to pee a LOT. I'm blessed to have a wonderful mentor for the Toaist practices however she's a she. She's learned from gifted people and read a lot but teaches from her own experiences. He suggestions about retention, etc. haven't been helpful while her suggestions about other aspects of the practices are spot on. But again I need to clear my prostate and learn about long term costs of retention from a very experienced practioner. I'd also like to learn about if there are other things I need to do if I'm retaining, celibacy, etc.
  5. Semen Retention: 100 Days and My Experiences

    Hi All, I've been immersed in Taoist practices for about a half dozen years now. They've been a large focus of my life. And before that many, many years of other practices. I'm feeling stuckness in my prostate now. I'm 49 years old. ** I'm interested in messaging a couple/few guys who have experience with retention, who have good understanding of the practices (MCO, Fusion FE, etc.), have a clear view of costs and benefits of different ways of working with semen retention and clearing the prostate. There are so many people and so much content on here. I'd love to talk to people who are really good this and look calmly and objectively at ways to proceed. (I realize there are posts on this, but my preference is talk with a few people who are objective, open, and experienced.) I'm often retaining as I find that very powerful. I was on retreat last year and a lot of that was in retention as that was more powerful for me. I had a girlfriend before that and was not in retention as much. Both are fine, just different choices for different reasons. Before I could clear my prostate with ejaculation and MCO and my other practices. Now it's not clearing. I have to pee a LOT. I'm blessed to have a wonderful mentor for the Toaist practices however she's a she. She's learned from gifted people and read a lot but teaches from her own experiences. He suggestions about retention, etc. haven't been helpful while her suggestions about other aspects of the practices are spot on. But again I need to clear my prostate and learn about long term costs of retention from a very experienced practioner. I'd also like to learn about if there are other things I need to do if I'm retaining, celibacy, etc.
  6. Semen Retention: 100 Days and My Experiences

    Hi Chris, Hi Gerard, Thank you so much for the feedback. And thank you for the link to the Theravada document, that was helpful. And thanks for the list of qi cultivating behaviors. I follow many of them. It's a bit counter cultural, at least with the people I know, but I agree they are very helpful. It's nice to read someone else write them. I like this website but there are so many people and so much information. Is any one up for like 4-6 people getting together on email to check in with our practices, like things that are going well, places we're stuck, etc? I find doing things in community helps me stay focused. I'm to any thoughts on that. And I wanted to follow up, it took about 3 weeks but my normal responses to my practices came back, increased energy, external lights getting brighter, etc. I'm guessing having the filling put in my tooth disrupted my body. Although after reading how most fillings have BPA, I'm going to look into other options for new fillings (ceramic, maybe ceriac or bell glass). I hope you all have a nice day.
  7. 100 days, retention, and yijinjing

    Are you bringing the energy around the lessor heavenly circuit? I find that crucial when I'm doing the 100 days retention. It illiviates the horiness and irritablity and turns it to groundedness and energy. And did you say you were able to have sex without releasing jing during the 100 days? I'm impressed. Can you say more about that?
  8. Semen Retention: 100 Days and My Experiences

    Hi Group, Great posting Chris, thank you. And good to read all the comments. I have done the hundred days, and my response was much like the other men, more creativity, insight, energy, joy, health, intuition, confidence, etc. My question to the men who have done this or something similar is, so now what? I might be missing choices but it seems to me the choice is to continue with this practice of conserving jing, and obtaining the incredible benefits, or releasing all that incredible energy through a sexual release. I did read Seth and about how if he has sex with an open heart and without body armoring, he doesn’t get the depletion, and saw Semko’s video, and it sounds like they know what they’re talking about, but I’m not sure how to actualize that or what steps to take to do that, and I haven’t read about it. Does anyone have any more information about that? And what are other people doing regarding retention vs. release, or a middle way? I had some health challenges years ago, fatigue and other things that I’m in remission from due to great nutrition and really taking care of myself. So when I do the 100 days or retain I feel wonderful, and when I release I feel fatigued, irritable, depressed, and I miss the joy I felt when I was retaining. And I have done the orgasm without emission but I’ve never been able to do that with a girlfriend. Does anyone have any suggestions on working with that with a partner? I also heard a Taoist practitioner say getting angry dissipates a ton of energy as well as looking at pornography or running sexual fantasies. Any thoughts on that and things that help build chi vs. dissipate it? And I have an incredible instructor and I feel very fortunate, but she’s a woman. When I ask her questions about release vs. retention she says it’s OK to have an emission, but I’m having trouble explaining how incredibly powerful it is to conserve jing, and how incredibly pleasurable if feels in my body to have all that energy. For me it’s like taking 15% of an orgasm and having it available at all times. It’s really nice. It would be like getting 10k a month to spend on anything you want, and you could spend it on all kinds of things or blow it on a few really nice dinners. - And does anyone have the name of a few quality male instructors who are able to learn these Taoist practices and teach from their own experiences? Also, I don’t talk about this a lot. It’s a little odd to write about this on the internet. I don’t want to sound pious, but these practices are, for a lack of a better word, sacred to me. It’s just before reading this thread I hadn’t met anyone who’d experienced the 100 days or things like it and didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. But I’ve been meditating for over twenty years, and extensively. At one point I started to get extremely strong visions of my body breaking down in all manners, being torn apart, the systems being ripped out, nervous system, cardiovascular system, muscles, bones, etc, and them being destroyed. At the end of this process everything dissolves into light. (After having these experiences I came across Alex Grey’s book with images portraying the same things I went through. He went through a similar experience. It was very surreal.) This happens much more quickly after I’ve been doing the Taoist practices. And I do the practices a lot, for a while I was on at home retreat doing them 4 to 6 hours a day. At one point everything was breaking down into its aggregate parts (and I can’t claim the information going through my head was accurate it’s just what I’d see), e.g. I’d be walking down the street and see the road, then I’d see the materials of what the road was made of, people who made the road, people who made the materials for the road, people who started roads, the equipment used on the road, the people that invented the equipment, roads starting from trails, the history of roads, etc., etc., etc. and this huge download of information was coming through. It would happen with most things I would bring my attention to. If I would try to consciously recreate this process I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t conscious thinking, it was when I was in the place like when I’m in mediation with an empty mind or focusing on sensations without conscious thought, then all the images and information would flow through. Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone else know if there’s a correlation between the Taoist practices and this experience? Also, when I’m doing my practices and conserving jing, I get the most wonderful experience of lights getting VERY bright. I look at stop lights at night and the light looks huge. For some reason red seems to extend out further than other colors, I’m not sure why. I also get a VERY thick buildup of saliva. And when I urinate it comes out very forcefully and then stops quickly when I’m done. Even more so than when I was a young man. Although I had dental work a few weeks ago and the lights are MUCH less bright, and the other things I mentioned are much less. I read up on the materials of the fillings and they have BPA in them, what they just stopped putting in water bottles because the materials mimic estrogen. I thought it was either the materials or the trauma of having my teeth (bones) drilled. Does anyone have any experiences with anything like this who could add some information? On a side note I have a strong Buddhist background and have always been taught not to get attached to the outcome of the practices, and I have to say I do feel attached to the outcome of the Taoist practices as they feel wonderful, so that’s something I’m being mindful of. I’ve missed not having the bright lights, sharp vision, and other things I mentioned after the getting the dental work. And it’s challenging to do the practices at the level I was previously doing them without the dramatic payoffs. And in the past before learning the Taoist practices I had gone a couple years without any emissions while I was awake (maybe a few nocturnal emissions.) It’s a long story but how I did that was through surrender and focusing on how I could be of service to other people. I appreciate Chris’s initial comment of the 3 things that could happen with the hundred days; you could fail, be irritable, or have tons of energy. When I do the 100 days jing conservation with the practices, it is absolutely not an act of will. It rides on the practices, and if I feel overly irritable or getting lost in fantasy I know I need to do more practices. The practices channel that energy and refine it so it turns into the all the positive aspects. It’s the difference between from feeling like a crazed rutting bull or feeling incredibly grounded, powerful, and connected. And one guy wrote about staying away from sexual media, etc. as a part of the 100 days. What I find is that it is somewhat of a lifestyle for me if I want to do it. I can’t watch media and get stirred up by sexual images if I’m not planning on releasing it or soon after doing a practice to recycle that energy. If I’m doing the hundred days it’s a commitment for me, so I’m not really flirting with women or dating, and I feel I pull back from main stream life a little when I’m doing it. I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of those choices in my head and I’m interested in thoughts about that from other people who have done the hundred days. And the practices I’ve been doing are meditation, Stewart Alve Olson’s eight pieces version of qi gong, my instructors modified versions of (and extremely effective versions for me, I’ve tried other versions that didn’t work for me) of MCO, swimming dragon, healing sounds, fusion of the five elements, and a tumo breathing practice. And again, the practices are a large commitment for me, but the payoff is huge. (And really good nutrition is another component.) Any thoughts on all that, especially: What to do in the long run, release or retain, or middle grounds? What builds or depletes chi? What might stop vision from getting clear, bright lights, saliva building, etc. (regarding the dental work?) I know that was a lot. I’m the only male practitioner I know. Thanks for everyone’s comments on this thread.
  9. Semen Retention: 100 Days and My Experiences

    Does anyone know if retention, even if coupled with extensive practices, MCO, Fusion of the Five Elements, etc. can lead to prostate problems?
  10. Hi Group

    Hi Group, I just found your site. I've been interested in meditation and mind-body practices for a couple of decades. I've been heavily immersed in Taoist practices for over a year, fusion 5 elements, microcosmic orbit, swimming dragon, healing sounds, tummo breathing (Tibetan I think). I have a wonderful female instructor and feel very fortunate. I've been having very, very powerful experiences but feel stuck in a couple areas. My instructor teaches from her own expereince with the practices which I love, but I'd like some feedback from male practitioners. I did the 100 day semean retention and it's incredible. I'm looking to find from serious practioners how they decide when or if ever to release, and I'm interested in the "Entering the Yellow Stream" practice from hsi lai's book, as I've worked through many of the other practices. Best e