Nightfled

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Everything posted by Nightfled

  1. SEX (hi)

    Greetings, glad to have gotten your attention from my title. I'm brand new to this site (obviously) but i have observed and enjoyed many posts here, not to mention the variance of responses from a wide base of fellow TaoBums. My knowledge in the Path is extremely little, i have done much reading (both online and in print) on the subject however, with my interest being born after reading the first few lines of Lao Tzu - Tao Te Ching. I have been practicing meditation and "energy awareness" for about 9-12 months now, adjusting my practice and my way of thinking of the practice innumerable times. The point i have reached now (that i can perceive) is my lower dan tien getting a warming or slight pulsating sensation when i take a few slow breaths and put my attention to that area, i made the mistake early of visualizing the entire MC orbit, instead of simply garnering my perception of the dantien, and i admit that i am capable of perceiving energy (how much or how fluidly it moves is a current mystery) go from my mingmen, up the spine and into the top of my head, as well as energy that seems to pulsate or flow in waves (in sync with my breath often) downwards from my head down the front of my body to my navel area. When i get around to doing a meditation session of 20-30+ minutes it takes a small amount of effort to relax the shaking and inner vibration i feel throughout my body. My posture is something i waste a lot of time thinking about and could use a tip on how to easily put myself in a comfortable yet "strong" meditation posture ( i have rather long legs in proportion to the rest of my body, crossing my legs leads to cramps within 5-10 minutes) I need to keep my spine and my sacrum in the correct position which i find difficult often whether sitting in a chair, in my bed or even lying down. Sexual energy is something that has also interested my greatly, i have recently been able to perceive cooling waves of pleasure shoot up my spine when i sync my breath in accordance with slow PC muscle contractions, this is an area i would like to know more about and research, knowing that i should do everything with care and focusing simply of perceiving and being conscious of my body. A serious concern of mine is my habit of being a very regular drinker of alcohol and smoking. My worry lies that when i find myself under the influence (especially MaryJane) i seem to perceive my energy A LOT stronger and noticeably, it scares me when i seem to make the most progress in these "impure" states. I might as well mention that i am a 130 pound, 19 year old male, and am probably getting close to having abdominal breathing become 100% natural, although i find it still takes effort to preform it perfectly (getting it all the way down to the lower dantian without effort) and it will take a countless amount of time to slow it down. I am thinking about taking a break from "energy perceiving" and switching simply to meditating on nothingness, where i started. Thank you so much for taking the time to read all this (even if you havn't) ANY and ALL advice and feedback is very much appreciated, Much love to you all.