Flolfolil

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Posts posted by Flolfolil


  1. Just relax away the need to debate self/no self.  The experience of having a self arises spontaneously from the reality of no self.  "I" just don't want to alter my typing to include stuff like "there is a spontaneous desire arising that feels like the need to teach in this non self's perception".  This age-old argument is holding you [me] back.

     

    It's really easier to identify with the ego when trying to communicate with other people.  Yes, I slip back into ego identification occasionally.  Hell, most of the day I straight up abide in it.  Abiding in ego consciousness does not change the fundamental reality of no self.

     

    No attacker, no attacked, no attack.  The ego is a tool.  There is no wielder.  Ego consciousness is a part of the One just like everything else.  You cannot possibly be out of oneness no matter how flawed you think your views are, no matter how flawed others think your views are, no matter if you do actions that are good or evil etc etc etc etc

    • Like 10

  2. Woah boy.  Okay.  I debated whether or not to post this here.  I weighed the positive and the negative potentials and decided to just go for it.

     

    So, as far as I can tell, I've done it.  Pretty much anything I have ever read about freedom being like, I now experience it on a constant basis.

     

    I could put it into a nice flowery story, but I have always been partial to a good bullet list.  Here is said list, a collection of things I now experience.

     

    • I now fully recognize and visually see that the world around me, including my ego, is an illusion.  A picture.
    • Consciousness in my perception, arises spontaneously and is neither divine nor mundane
    • I [?] have been to the place of non perception.  The total emptiness where I didn't even perceive going there until I got out and realized it was terrifying and I'd rather not die.  I can slip into this at any moment, with barely any meditative effort.  I find it difficult to want to sleep because it feels so similar to dying.  In and out of this place, consciousness feels like a slider where existence has to construct the idea of consciousness and you are half conscious as you crawl your way out of the singularity, painstakingly.  When "I" go here and eventually come out, I am usually greeted by whomever I am around shaking me and the realization I have stopped breathing and was beginning to suffocate.
    • I frequently now have non dual experience and can go into my idea of samadhi whenever I choose.  I sometimes find it difficult to differentiate between my hand and an object I am holding.  Since the awakening I have been throwing knives in this state with laser like accuracy even though I wasn't even close to being an expert.
    • I understand and experience the spontaneous arising of compassion.  This is huge for me because I have always been a sociopathic sadist.  Seeing everything as illusion experientially has lead me to strong feelings of just wanting to see a happy picture in front of my material face.  I want nothing more than to make people smile and feel love
    • I have dropped all need to be insertive/assertive.  Recognizing the other as myself I no longer wish to attack because I don't believe in the attacker, the attacked, or the attack.  However, I fluctuate between the desire to teach and the desire to just kick back and be happy with the attainment.
    • My moment to moment experience is constantly nodding to the "Trimurti".  I'm witnessing the creation, maintenance, and destruction of the universe so intensely it is hard to keep my job at times. 
    • Talking incessantly about my attainment is the only thing I can do to make myself feel like a functioning human being.  I understand how guru types seem like they are full of it, because they are stuck on wanting to teach and that is preventing them from fully blissing out.  Going into the nothingness, you awaken to the moment to moment choice to be the doer.  Currently "I" am choosing to construct an I, so that I may be the doer
    • Right action as far as I'm concerned is flowing like water.  The only thing I am forcing now is opening my mouth to talk or type
    • People I used to not get along with at work are all good friends.  I said nothing to them and as soon as our eyes met all conflict was resolved.  Months and months of ill feelings evaporated on both ends.
    • I'm creating false memories.  Consensus reality is half gone to me.  I'm picking things up in stores and forgetting to pay for them because I created a false memory of standing in line, handing them the money, etc etc
    • My magical ability is higher than ever, but speaking of it at all kills it completely.  It takes about a day to recover after I mention it.  The specifics aren't important but basically, the only thing I don't have control over yet is the ability to transcend time and space.  If anyone has any heady philosophy that can get me there I'm open to hearing it.
    • All of the people that know me well knew that I was this way all along, even non spiritually inclined friends

    Pretty sure there is more that will come to me once people start commenting and asking questions but those are the things I can remember right now. 

     

     

    Maybe consider ignoring everything in between these lines, because while it lead me to awakening, it isn't necessary for it:

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    [Also, at one last ditch effort to be the teacher/doer, I have discovered a physical system of yoga that makes all of hatha yoga obsolete.  You just learn how to walk correctly with every muscle of the body and they are all maintained without the need for practice or exercise.  The main point is to immobilize the spine to end mind noise, and in using every muscle to accomplish this goal, you experience the body as One.  This is how human beings are inherently meant to walk and I have searched for a year trying to find someone even hinting at this knowledge and found no one.  If you want to learn this from me, shoot me a PM.]

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    After I answer questions and potentially teach my system of movement to someone on here, I intend to just kick back and enjoy life.  I will give up teaching and write no books.  I will cease from telling anyone about how I see and feel.  I will drop out of the spiritual community and just work on the commune I have started.

     

    Thanks for reading everyone, and for all the guidance

     

    Flo

    • Like 10

  3. Learn all the muscles of the head/neck and exercise them by clenching and releasing them fully about 25-50 times per muscle per day.  The ones that raise the ears, draw the ears back, lift the forehead skin, the neck one that pulls your chest skin and face into a grossed out face[this one really rubs your lymph nodes so dont worry if it makes your neck swollen for a little while, it eventually stops and then I believe the lymph nodes start to work better.  Imagine that, a muscle that makes a grossed out face while purging nasties from the system!].  The ones that flare your nostrils both wide and constricted.  The ones that make you smile gently, and the ones that make you smile wide.  Get something like a piece of rubber and work out your jaw muscles.  There are two different muscles that produce a high pitched and low pitched vocal sound, so go after those too.  There's the tongue...that's a strange little fellow.  The muscle that produces a swallowing action doesn't feel like its a good one to strength train.  Practice drawing your lips over your teeth into an "o" face.  And super important is the muscle that clenches your chin towards the very top of your chest.  One that seems to produce a 3rd eye activity/feeling is clenching your eyelids shut as tight as you can - be sure not to make angry eyebrows during this action though.  All the muscles of the body are important but I think people have more than enough practice making distressed faces. :P

     

    Work all of these out, then take giant handfuls of your hair and gently tug them.  Try to wear your hair down as much as possible, as wearing it up creates a lot of scalp tension.

     

    Take nattokinase for a couple months to improve your overall circulation.  Can't recommend it enough.

     

    Also practice doing as many of these actions at once as you can possibly do in front of a mirror for a nice laugh :)

    • Like 2

  4. i like growing in dirt. but, one has to have dirt, or rather some land for that.

    hydroponics also allows one to grow year round, if i remember correct, i think flo is out in arizona?

    flo mentioned the foodstamps, so perhaps his budget is at the shoestring level. regardless where there is a will there is a way. best of luck to you flo. i wouldnt be in such a hurry to get off those stamps, wish i got them myself. i think they can be used to buy starter veggie plants too and maybe even some herbs.

    Yeah I'm in AZ

     

    I live in a cheap apartment with hardly any window light.  I snuck in a quail farm a couple years ago but the plants in the closet didn't do so well :lol: 

     

    I hate relying on the government.  I don't feel entitled to it, or like its really hurting anyone because the country is screwed anyways and everyone is sucking the system dry just as bad as I am...its just the principle of the matter.  I'd like to be more self sustaining.  Also, yeah they let you buy plants on EBT so there is that.

     

    I am pretty good at manifesting the little things I need though.  Met someone in the past year that says he can teach me to make LED lights so that is why I am starting to invest more thought in this project.

    • Like 1

  5. You might want to expand your investigation into:

     

    Aquaponics on Wikipedia

     

    In which a symbiotic system is set up that simultaneously raises fish and does hydroponic gardening.

     

    Herbal medicine is just too big a field to answer easily, I have experience with Western systems going back to circa 1970 and they can work, but since 1990 I have used Chinese Herbal Medicine pretty much exclusively with excellent results

     

    Redwing Books

     

    Where you will find just about everything you could ask for, except of course the right way study it all.

    Thanks!  And I suppose I should have clarified that I do mean western herbal medicine :)


  6. I have pain on the left side of my lap - in place where leg connects with pelvis. In the left knee too - only when squating, but thats really uncomfortable

    When you squat, do your knees collapse towards the center or splay out to the sides?  The goal is to have them in a straight line with your ankles.

     

    Try doing a "ballet turnout".  Its hard to describe online but you can find videos.  Remember to keep your leg straight in this one.

     

    Can you draw an arrow pointing to the exact area where the pain is on a picture of a human?  Hell, I could do a lot more for you if I could get a picture of your squatting form.  Feel free to PM it if you go that route instead of posting in thread.

     

    Go through all of the information in my original post, do every exercise that makes sense to you, and I am sure you'll see improvement.  Also check out my reply I just made to soaring crane about the hamstrings and try all that stuff.  It has a ton of squat form advice.

     

    If you are in pain that's not cool!  Lets fix that, ASAP!!!! :D

    • Like 1

  7. Sounds like you've found your calling, Flo, I'm happy for you :-)

     

    Could you please elaborate on this one, I honestly can't make heads or tails of it, but hamstrings are an issue with me, thanks:

    Okay so stand up and take your leg straight back behind you.  Don't bend the knee.  Its what you do to propel yourself forward when walking.  This is the muscle engagement you want when you are squatting.  Get into the squat, then engage the hamstrings as if you are going to raise yourself out of the squat.  Make sure you are sticking your butt out in a squat, while trying to keep your torso as vertical as possible.  If you round your back forward, this takes all of the force into your quads and gives you front of the knee pain.  Do squats like you are sitting back into a comfy chair.

     

    Also for hamstrings, there's bridge pose.  A cue I never learned in any yoga class but figured out from studying is that while you keep your feet in the same place for bridge pose, you isometrically try to drag your heels towards you.

     

    There's also Cow pose [as in, cat-cow, but only do this from cow] Where you take one leg straight back and work on getting the inner edge of your thigh up.  Engage your thigh adductors[on both legs] by engaging the muscles you'd use to squeeze something between your knees so that your leg doesn't splay out to the side.  Once you find your balance in this, take your opposite arm out in front of you, palm facing towards the middle line of your body.  Stretch out in both directions, and point your toes back.  Act as if someone is pulling your hand foward and your foot backwards.  This one is good for hamstrings and strengthening the quadratus lumborum.  Easy balance mode for this exercise is to have the toes curled under.  For more core work try the tops of your base foot pressing into the ground. 

     

    The squeezing the legs together and rotating the inner thighs up cue is good for practing Locust pose as well.  In that one be sure to suck in your stomach, firm your pelvic floor [engage muscles that stop flow of urine] and tuck your tailbone slightly like a scared dog.  This is another great hamstring pose.

     

     

    When walking, try and sink back and use the action of the hamstrings to propel you forward instead of just throwing your bodyweight forward.  Develop a good heel strike, and preferably wear shoes that don't have extra height on the heel-sole.  Shoes that aren't flat really wreck your entire body.

     

    Let me know if this helps, if not I'll keep going until I find something that makes sense to you :)  The hamstrings are one of those muscles you really have to blast with strength training everyday or else they don't see any progress, or even make sense.

     

     

    Hope I could help!!

    • Like 1