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About Lotus7

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    Unenlightened Light
  1. We all know that non-violence is the key... but what if we are put in a situation where we must fight? Is having the knowledge of martial arts beneficiary to our karma when in need or no? Basically what I am saying: Should we fight back if necessary? Namaste, Mateo
  2. Hey all! Great replies! Turned out to e a pretty great thread so far! A lot of really great ideas! There was something that someone mentioned about recording dreams in a journal. I have heard of this practice before, however never really understood the significance of this. I get that dreams are deeply rooted in the subconscious, which is directly affected by our daily thoughts and experiences; but other than a select few "interesting dreams" mine tend to be extremely random and about nothing in particular. Any thoughts? I am beginning step 1 in IIH in the morning and am so looking forward to it!!! It has been a long time coming, and like I said in a previous post, I have been drawn to it time and time again. I plan on keeping a journal (or journals) specific to my hermetic practice. That is kind of why I started this thread in the first place, just to get some feedback on how you all approach your writing. Thanks again and let's keep this going!! Love and light, Mateo
  3. Thanks Turtle! That was a fantastic and extremely helpful post! I love the idea of different boards. I find that I am much more at peace when my life is organized. When I am writing down thoughts and trying to sort out my characters progress I am much clearer and more successful in my endeavors. I just turned 25 yesterday, and I just feel that the time has come for me to really get my life together and organized. I am aiming to really work on raising my level of self awareness and actually put the action for the change necessary to where I want to be. Anyways, awesome and inspiring post! Love and light, Mateo
  4. Thanks Turtle! If you have the time, would you care to elaborate on why it is essential to you? On the list of many other benefits, I find that I am better able to observe my progress in any particular area and sometimes find mistakes or overcome obstacles. I am a natural writer, so maybe it is just my artistic side being able to communicate with my intellect . Love and Light, Mateo
  5. Hiyo Bums, Thought I would start a topic on keeping a journal with a regular practice. I have seen a lot of posts about "practice" and subjects on the like but not much on keeping record of it. I have always been keen to keeping a journal, ever since I was young I suppose. I always thought it was really interesting and fun to look back on entries from a few months ago or even a year ago. Going a bit deeper, apart from an intellectual experience: What do yo bums find to be helpful about keeping a journal with your spiritual practice? Or do you find it to be of no use? I bring this up after reading Rawn Clark's commentary on IIH, specifically his section on listing the good and bad qualities within oneself and being ruthlessly honest with yourself on paper. I find it hard to lie to myself, (some may differ ), especially when I am writing down my thoughts at the moment and trying to analyze my own actions or qualities. Anyways, I find journaling to be very important to my practice! What about you? Love and Light, Mateo
  6. Thanks GMP! I'll check them out after work tonight!! I am very excited to begin this new chapter in my life! A point that Bardon makes time after time (as well as many other authors) is that if one is only willing to gain solid knowledge of a topic or practice, books will suffice. However knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom only comes from the practical application of the knowledge, i.e. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!!!! Thus far I have been simply a knowledge man with very little practice to show. I am very much looking forward to the UNDERSTANDING On a side note, I have always very much enjoyed reading Seth Ananda's posts on here, not simply from his Hermetic perspectives,but from yoga to philosophy and so on... So,Seth if you read this give me a shout; you have been a great inspiration to me! (I guess I could refrain from being lazy and just PM you.... but alas I must go to work at the moment) Anyways, Thanks again GMP! Love and Light<Mateo
  7. Hey thanks guys! I truly feel that I have been "led" to this path rather than it being simply a coincidental occurrence. What would you recommend to read to begin with? Like i said I have read IIH and Rawn's commentary and I plan to begin the steps in IIH in the next week or so. However, I love to read and I know you all are a bit more knowledgeable than myself, so... any recommendations or experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all for bringing light to the world! Love and light, Mateo
  8. Hello all! It has been a while since I have posted, but glad to be back. I am so glad that we now have a hermetic forum!!! Before I begin I must say that early on in my discovery of hermetics and magik, I was a bit skeptical and even a little creeped out by the system. Especially when I began reading up on the outlandish wanderings and ramblings of men like Aleister Crowley... That being said, I was also very drawn to and intrigued by this path! I would drift away from it for a while, and yet somehow would always find myself being led right back to it. I now see my bias as simple ignorance and realize that the path of the white magician as a beautiful gateway to freedom and enhanced existence. Ok.... So I am sure many of you have read "Frabato" by Bardon (or really his assistant Otti). Now,I understand that Frabato is a work of fiction mostly and that Otti was a bit over-zealous. However, he speaks a bit on destiny in the novel, and I can't help but question if my seemingly magnetic pull towards IIH and the hermetic tradition as a whole is entirely coincidental or if I am "destined" to follow this path. I have read IIH and Rawn Clark's commentaries and find the techniques to be very mechanical. I am not attempting to spark a heated debate on destiny nor technical differences in Bardon's system. In fact I don't really know what I am attempting to get at Maybe just some of your experiences in either Bardon's system or hermetic science as a whole. A new year is approaching and I have a lot of soul searching to do as to where I want my life's road to travel from here.Any experience or advice shared is greatly appreciated! Love and light,Mateo
  9. Hey Bums, This may be a topic more suited to the personal practice discussion, however I will post it here for now. That being said, how high do you place your spiritual "routine" on your list of daily priorities? Prayer, meditation, yoga, qigong, breathing exercises, etc.- I know from experience that it is quite easy to talk about putting these things into practice, but quite another story to actually execute them into a daily, consistent regimen. So my second question is: If you have a daily system, what all does it entail? What do you find works best for you? I must admit I am doing a bit of fishing here, as I am trying to get a solid routine down myself. For me it is about getting over my laziness and just doing it. I am going through a lot of personal changes right now, and am ready to really buckle down and start growing. For example I am looking to start a morning meditation session along with qigong. (I am just now learning about qigong. The spiritual and physical benefits interest me very much.) So if you care to share on your experience, I know I could benefit from any advice, as well as the rest of the bums. There is a lot of wisdom here.... so lets SHARE Love and Light, Matt
  10. Battling addiction and the road ahead

    Thank you Manitou! Yes it seems I have "worked" a step 1 many times, however when it came to truly accepting a step 2, I would "trust" in God for a time and then as soon as things started to get better, I would take my will back and say, "I got this God. I can do it on my own." Ha ha what a joke. I have come to the realization that there is nothing within my single being except God that can give me the willpower to stop drinking and to never pick it up again! I am going to do what you said and write down what I believe God to be. It makes so much sense. Ya know its funny, sometimes I get so caught up in all the philosophy of what God is or isn't. I try to get too deep into the metaphysics of our Creator that I forget my mind is still on such a low level, that trying to take all of that in is useless at this point in my life. If I have to think of God as a "being" right now than that is what I need to do until I can get a grip on the rest of it. I think the most important thing about this whole process is to find out who I really am as a person. I have yet to really scratch the surface of what it means to "Know thyself" as Aristotle put it. Thank you for all of your encouragement! Just the fact that you have not taken a drink in 30 years is massive inspiration to me! Love and Light, Matt
  11. Battling addiction and the road ahead

    Hey jaysahnztao, I have been very interested in martial arts for sometime now. I am really looking for an internal martial practice such as tai chi or qigong. I have a great book on tai chi (unfortunately books are really my only source of learning right now other than the internet due to my financial and transportation situation) called "Harmony Tai Chi" by Dr. Mao. I am assuming it is good because it is very detailed However, I have heard so many wonderful things about qigong that it just appeals to me on a larger level. So, I guess my question would be: Where can I find some good basics on qigong just so I can get a practice started? I am beginning to meditate every morning and would really like to incorporate some Yoga or some type of internal energy practice with it. Anyways, Thank you for your response! Love and light, Matt
  12. Battling addiction and the road ahead

    Hey Twinner! Thank you so much for taking the time to give such wonderful advice. It is advice that I am hearing from just about every person in my life right now. I have been in and out of the rooms of AA for the past 3 or 4 years and I can honestly say that there has never been a meeting that I did not enjoy or at least got something out of. I have heard horror stories that make my experiences seem miniscule and makes me realize that the light at the end of the tunnel is not just a mirage, but truly reachable. I guess my problem has just been actually getting involved. It is not that I have not wanted to, I just get lazy with it and then get cocky and tell myself that I can do it on my OWN self will. This is exactly what kept getting me drunk. However, after this last episode that I went through, there is no question in my mind. I need the help of others. I am very lucky to live in a community that has a very strong AA fellowship. There are meetings all over the place-and good ones at that! Ya know it really is like anything else in life- if I want to see results from my practice, I have to put the effort into it. The Steps are not going to work themselves Anyway, Thank you Twinner! I am going to send you a PM because I would love to talk further with you! It's so cool to see someone else in this spiritual community that has struggles with the same things I am (Manitou as well) Love and Light, Matt
  13. Battling addiction and the road ahead

    Wow... just wow. Closed minds think alike I suppose.
  14. Battling addiction and the road ahead

    Thank you manitou(Barbara), fizix and all of the others who have replied. It is great to know that others in this spiritual community have experienced the devastation that an alcoholic lifestyle can bring and are familiar with the way out. I sometimes get in my head too much and allow my will to dominate my thought processes. I think , "Well, looks like I am the only one who has experienced these feelings and everyone else is just normal and happy." I know that this is simply not reality. I also realize that everyone has their vices, some worse than others. Manitou, I really want to thank you for sharing a bit of your wisdom and experience. I have sat in those rooms night in and night out; listening and soaking in the stories of men and women who have worked a program of recovery. I have felt the inspiration, and have shared the tears. I suppose my problem has just been absolutely surrendering to the fact that I am an alcoholic at the age of 24. It sucks! And I really think that because of my inner denial, I have not been able to let go of my arrogance and self-deceit. But you are right- I know the steps work because I have seen it up close. Manitou, I would love to message privately more on the matter. Who knows? The Universe may have guided me to you for a reason. I believe that we are all much more alike than we care to concede. After all we are all of the same Source. C T: As soon as I can get the extra money I will check out the book by Allen Watts. Or better yet, there is a library right down the street... What are some meditation practices that I could incorporate with the working of these steps? Would some qigong be beneficial? I have a great book on chakra meditation that I believe will be extremely helpful once I begin some of the balancing practices- Because that is just what I am: UNBALANCED! Anyway guys, I appreciate all of you for taking time out of your day to help a fellow bum. I would love to keep this thread going for a while. I think addiction is an incredible subject to ponder because the reality of the world today is most every one is seemingly addicted to something(or someone). I think it could really do wonders for many. However that is simply my opinion, let's see what the rest of you bums think Love and Light, Matt
  15. Hello Bums! It has been a long time since I have posted here, mainly because I have been unable to for reasons that I will later explain, but also because I have not felt that I had anything to contribute do to the lifestyle that I have been leading. Let me start of first by saying that I tend to paint a pretty picture of myself on the outside, while my inner demons wage wars with my soul. I gain all of this knowledge on philosophy and meditation, etc., (information overload), but I can never bring myself to actually put any of it into action. I have been battling with addiction for the better part of the last six years. It has mainly been alcohol, but I have also experienced short-term addictions to other substances. However I know that whatever the drug may be, it alone is not the root of my addiction. My addiction starts with me. I am my biggest problem. Let me give you a brief synopsis of the last six years. Towards the end of my high school career, I began to dabble in drugs such as marijuana, pills, what they call "robotrippin"(where you drink cough medicine to get high), and of course alcohol. Keep in mind that I have dealt with depression since the age of 15 or so. There was one day, (after I had graduated high school) that a friend of mine offered me cocaine- so of course me being the little experimentalist that I was, I said "Ok, sure!" *SNIFF* And thus began a 4 or 5 month addiction to cocaine. And let me tell you it got pretty bad towards the end. It got so bad that I began stealing money from my parents to buy the stuff. Well of course they found out fairly easily. I told them that I was on drugs, and so my father, (who has also been addicted to substance in the past), told me about the program of Narcotics Anonymous(a 12 step based program stemming from Alcoholics Anonymous). I started to attend meeting with my father there for support. It was not long until the desire to use the drug ceased to exist within my mind. At this point in my life, my parents and I did not have the best relationship- me being rebellious and going against everything they would tell me. So I decided I was moving out at the "all-grown-up" age of 19. So, against my mothers pleading and my fathers warning I moved to a large college town near my home. I was arrested and charged with a DUI on the second night after I had moved. No matter, I told myself, I will just keep drinking. So for the next 2 and a half years I went on drinking and partying giving no thought to the fact that I may have a problem with alcohol. I was arrested shortly before I left the college town for failure to complete probation and served 8 days in jail. So, I shall move forward a bit. After moving back to my parents home and having a very unsuccessful stay there (because of my drinking), I moved in with my grandparents. I got a job and met a girl whom I would form a relationship with until this day. Our first date was at a bar. Our second date was at a bar; and so on it went. I ended up burning my grandparents because of my drinking, so I moved in with this girl. Well she eventually grew weary of my intolerance to alcohol and decided to leave me. I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to except family. Father told me I needed rehab. So I went to a treatment center for a 45 day program. I left on day 37. The girl I mentioned earlier was 6 months pregnant with out baby boy and I wanted to be with her and thought I was strong enough to go back out into the world and not drink. My arrogance to my addiction took over about 3 months later and again I began drinking. So on it went for the next 2 years(with a couple arrests and a million fights between my girlfriend and I). Not even the birth of my precious son was enough to make me stop. So on December 22nd of last year, she finally had enough and called the police one night because I was home drunk and she did not feel safe going there. I ended up getting arrested for failure to complete yet another probation, and served 45 days in jail. While in jail, my father came to me and said that I must go back to rehab if I am ever going to have a life for myself and be a father. I agreed wholeheartedly. I was a broken man. So on February 4th of this year I admitted myself into a private rehab that was supposed to be a 13 month program. I stayed for about 2 months and decided to leave that center because I felt that it was very similar to a cult. I checked myself into another rehab, one with a bit more freedom and I greatly enjoyed my newly found sober life for a time. I acquired an excellent job making really good money, my family was coming around, I was regularly attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, etc. Life was getting better and I was getting cockier. So one day, about three weeks ago I decided I was going to leave the treatment center and get an apartment in town. I picked up my check from work, went and packed my bags and left my better judgement to the wind. I ended up checking myself into an extended stay hotel that day and immediately went to the liquor store and bought a gallon of vodka. For the next two weeks I locked myself into a hotel room and drank myself into oblivion, emerging only to resupply my habit. There were days during this period where I literally felt was going to die. I had pains all over my body, I was hallucinating, felt that my life-breath was going to leave my body at any given moment. My parents, my girl, my friends, the owner of the rehab- they were all trying to contact me and reach out, but I continuously ignored their phone calls until one day I realized-Hey, I really do not want to live like this anymore. So on the last day of my stay, I was completely out of money;had nowhere to go; paranoid and anxious- I just prayed for God to guide me. My father came and picked me up and we went and had lunch. I felt horribly physically because I had not eaten in days, and mentally because I was utterly defeated at the age of twenty-four. We discussed some options, and came up with the conclusion that I should return to the rehab. That day, 4 days ago and by the grace of God, I was allowed to come back. My second day here I found another job and it looks promising.... So that is briefly my past 6 years. I am not proud of any of it. I hurt so many people, burned so many bridges, and lost out on some truly wonderful opportunities- all because of my inability to quit drinking. I love life and want to live. You know it is funny to me how for the better part of 6 years, I can become so acquainted with such beautiful traditions such as Daoism and Buddhism, fully knowing their potential for my life and yet go in the exact opposite direction. I was sober for 6 months and then just decided to drink out of nowhere. That is the power of this thing I have- I don't know whether to call it a disease, an affliction or what, but I know it is the most powerful thing I have ever attempted to overcome. What I was hoping to gain from all of you lovely souls is advice on how to pick myself up from the mire and be the person I was truly meant to be. I would love all different angles. From practices I can start to books I can read, prayers, mantras, energy work, literature on addiction that come from maybe a more spiritual point of view, etc. But most of all one thing: The WILLINGNESS. Willingness to start practicing change. To stop being lazy and just do it. I know all of the potential in the Universe is out there for me to grab, I just have not been able to reach out and grab it and I want to know how! I want to LIVE! I am so tired of being sick and tired! The words I am sitting here typing can not even begin to express my thirst and yearning for a better life and a more meaningful spiritual existence. I want to know God... I want to know ME so I can change ME. Bums, For the past 5 years I have ALWAYS received strength and encouragement from your words, even if I did not put them into action. I couldn't. I was drowning, and there simply was not much I could do until I learned to swim. I want to learn to swim. Please help me in anyway that you see fit. Even though do not know any of you personally, I truly love you all. Thank you so much for all you do. Love and Light, Matt