The last posts from the cat and the guy who said you attract what you are not what you desire had very big impact on me.
They re affirmed some truths i have been struggling with.
My first emotional reaction was anger and then it was deep pain
anger and pain that i have felt before A LOT! That heartache that reaches out because there
is that human whole in us, some deeper than others
My mind went on telling stories if what was wrong with the world, and sucidal type thoughts
and all that general low- self esteem crap (if you ever been thru that)
The i realized that regardless of the paioon and the arguments in my ego , that ultimatley
part of me was just simply asking "Who cares about me?, Nodbody does.."
But then i started realizing that someone does! I DO!! thats why im going thru all this crap trying to fix my s**t
and thats why i spent hours brooding over the world and myself is because I CARE ABOUT ME!!!
Its just that i haven't learned to uses what what i have in a MATURE WAY
I have layers of trapped emotion and FALSE BELEFIS about the world that are just OBSOLETE
I think women reject me because I HAD A FALSE BELEIF that my caring and nuturing came from others, instead of my SELF
in a way the workld is right, nobody really CARES about you as much as YOU should care about you, and you do care about you, even if your methods are OUT DATED for your current stage of DEVELOPMENT
This message goes out to StonerWolf, Dont let this world beat you down, YOU are your own best friend and it is ROUGH out here, dont be fooled too much my 'SPIRITUALITY' into thinking its all fluffy clouds and hugs....