Moth

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Everything posted by Moth

  1. After a couple years of self reflection, I've realized that I got a lot of hate in me. Hate as a result of fear, insecurity, anger and resentment. Hate that causes subconscious snap-judgments about people who I perceive as dumb or somehow below me (leftover class-based crap). Hate that erodes friendships and family relationships (you should see what it does to the romantic realm!), and makes getting along with people quite a challenge. I gradually cut people out of my life and tada! now loneliness visits me with ever increasing power. My brief experience with CBT didn't seem to help since it is mostly self-focused. While searching for therapists, most set off a heavy aversion "fuck you what do you know" type of reaction. I've tired of self-help books, but I'll be damned if I resign myself to these feelings and their source. I've come here looking for practices/meditations that might help dissolve hate. Any suggestions?
  2. What to do with hate?

    Wow, thanks for the crapload of responses! It gives me a variety of options to start with. A few notes rang true for me (seeking acceptance, high expectations as a kid, stuck in child mode too much (Most frequently recurring dream is me sitting in elementary school saying "I don't belong here anymore!"), hating others what I see in myself.) There's a myriad of other stuff, but I would loathe to try and turn this thread into an internet empathy vortex. I feel a bit skeptical of the "Let all the hate in, plus some more hate, to see how hate is ridiculous" because I've seen what hate can do to people when left on a simmer for decades, and jumping head first into seems rather counter-intuitive. Would you care to elaborate? I'm a complete novice when it comes to energy work. I'm relatively young (21), I've read only a couple books on qigong and tai chi, but I've read enough to know that without a good teacher, I'm bound to cause painful mistakes if I choose to pursue those paths. Due to lack of funds/time, pursuing at this point isn't really an option. Perhaps later.
  3. Processing Info

    This happens a lot in spiritual practice, where many people will claim that their method or practice is "the only way" to reach ______. Or, it's the best/most effective/most powerful method of practice. I know that there's some truly helpful and insightful information on this board when it comes to practice, but I have almost no point of reference for many of the experiences described on this board. I genuinely (afaik) want to reach some of these states of being, but sometimes it gets confusing, and therefore frustrating, when SO MANY people (not exclusively on this board) throw around such lofty, and many times contradictory, claims of exclusivity. If you understand where I'm coming from, can ya throw me an advice bone? How do I distill the useful from the narrow minded?
  4. Beginning I Ching

    I have read various parts of different texts explaining the I-Ching, but I feel myself easily discouraged by the amount of I-Ching translations out there. The only thing really stopping me from using the book is the fear of picking the wrong translation, and becoming misdirected or confused, or god forbid, "enlightened". So I turn to you people here. Which translation would you recommend, which would you stay away from, and why?
  5. I have a friend who is a lot of trouble, but refuses to believe it. It started last sunday when she walked five miles(at 2:00 a.m.) to another friend's house to tell him that he was Jesus reincarnated, and like her, he would soon see the truth. Earlier that day she had told me that she had come into the fifth circuit (using Timothy Leary's terminology), where she was conscious of and in full contact with the collective unconscious. I saw her yesterday, and I would describe her as abundantly happy at everything that appears before her eyes. Later that night, she wrecked her car into a pole (no one was hurt) when she decided to drive with her eyes closed and feel the road. I haven't heard anything about a police-based decision yet. She has a very nasty marijuana addiction that is rather common in my line of work, although her use is very much over the reasonable limit. She regularly partakes in other mind altering substances with great abandon, and I am afraid that she might have swam out a bit too far in rough mind waters. She doesn't feel that anything could be wrong, and refuses treatment of any kind since she doesn't believe herself to be sick, and seems impervious to persuasion. Any advice on how to help her?
  6. Mine: wake up, watch the movie "Powder", cry, eat a steak, put clothes on, take a shower, put new clothes on over wet clothes, fall asleep while standing in the living room (read Pathetic Qigong by Marvin Duckwater to learn this skill), wake up in a pool of various fecal matter (unsure if mine), re-watch "Powder", do 1,000 pushups, salt, make car noises at myself in the mirror while masturbating, powder Jesus rash, CALZONE TIME!
  7. Destroying Hope

    I've begun living a life that has become filled with hope, and it's exhausting. Infinite possibilities jump around me and throw promises right at me, and it's sickening. Headaches and general nervousness abound when I buy into that hope, and I want it gone. Hope, for me, is when I admit that I'm completely powerless to affect something. I don't hope I'll eat tomorrow, I'll just eat tomorrow. I do hope everything turns positive for me, therefore I admit that I'm powerless in my ability to affect the events that surround me. I get how Hope and Fear are linked on a basic level, and fear especially plays a central role in my life (but I'm working on that, not simply hoping my fear will go away). Any ideas on how to get rid of hope, or at least not make it so annoying?
  8. Funny Vid Clips

    Here's one that I frequently enjoy:
  9. Do You Train Martial Arts?

    I do Capoeira off and on, and all though it is usually deemed as incredibly impractical, and I'm not saying it isn't, it is both an incredible aerobic and, in the case of an actual confilct, a great way to confuse and/or continually mislead an opponent.
  10. Zeitgeist

    I like the fact that it at least makes people inspect what they know or have been told, though I find it sad when I hear about or see converts to the Zeitgeist and Venus Project movements. They are usually the same people who consider Dan Brown to be a groundbreaking literary genius.
  11. I was wondering, since recently breaking my leg and damaging my arm, how exactly would one go about meditation without traditional postures? Has anyone had experience with this, and if so, what can you report? Is there any good things to read about such an alteration to practice? Thanks
  12. Everyone post some favorite quotes!

    A couple of my own that tend to annoy those around me whenever they complain of the weather: "It's only cold because you want it to be hot." "It's only hot because you want it to be cold."
  13. Hello

    I'm the first one to choose that topic title, right? Hi, I'm new here.