I discovered Daoism at 17 through stumbling upon Feng and English's beautiful book: http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Te-Ching-Lao-Tsu/dp/0307949303/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366665740&sr=8-1&keywords=feng+and+english+tao+te+ching
I've identified as Daoist ever since.
When I was younger, I married a woman who then swore we'd never have sex again, that she'd just been doing it to keep me interested. Eventually we settled into a sex about once a month scenario which usually consisted of me performing oral sex on her. If I ever got the chance to have intercourse, I lasted maybe a few seconds before ejaculating. I decided to learn how to last longer on those rare occasions I got to have intercourse.
I picked up a book on the subject which described a method whereby one would only partially ejaculate. I used this to some effect over the years. My techniques and knowledge changed and deepened over the years. I studied a little with Shantam Nityama and also attended some Deer Tribe workshops.
I am now nearing 55 and have the great fortune of a fantastic partner aged 41. Her prior experience after a mildly promiscuous period in college was a 20 year near sexless marriage with a man she could not trust.
We've been together something over a year and our intimacy and openness with each other started deep and has only increased. Her experience of orgasm has been primarily with a vibrator since the age of 13.
Recently, she decided to give up her resistance to loving me. She'd intended to live independently of a relationship after her marriage. She wasn't looking for anything like we've developed... nor was I. I'd identified as polyamorous since about age 21. But to be honest, I've been perfectly happy to be monogamous with her.
Once she decided to open past her resistance... things really started to change. She began to orgasm in a completely new (to her) way. She didn't even see them as orgasms. Though they seemed like orgasms to me, I'm not one to tell someone else their experience. But once she started ejaculating and undulating in full body orgasm, we both agreed that this is what had come to pass.
The other day, she told me with great difficulty, that she would marry me, were I to ask her. This seems to have been the last vestige of her resistance to our relationship. Things have been off the charts since then. Once before I had a long distance partner who was very sensitive to energy. We got to the point where we would orgasm from just touching our foreheads together saying goodbye at the airport. My current partner and I are very close to this space, but we live in the same town and spend the night together most nights.
I'll attempt to describe what's been happening the past few days. Moreso than even before... we're pretty much aroused constantly when in each other's presence. She's started to orgasm just from me standing near her and cycling energy. And when we go to bed, we're in a fairly constant energy exchange, her orgasming over an over regardless of what we're doing physically. Hugging, oral sex, intercourse, whatever. She says she feels heavy and full and close to orgasm all day and that it seems to positively influence her sphere of influence (she's a pre-school teacher).
Oh, and I meant to say that my own practice of ejaculation control had perhaps gone a bit too far by the time we met as I had difficulty even ejaculating by myself anymore. I've since worked through that blockage and can pretty much ejaculate when and if I want to. She does really enjoy it, so I probably ejaculate more than I should for a man my age, but ejaculation seems to be pretty irrelevant to anything anymore. It's merely a peak. My penis may spurt a few drops of cum, but doesn't really go soft and I can continue and repeat this process. Sometimes we go for hours, especially since her last shift. Last night we had sex when she came to bed around 11 and then started again at 4AM and went until the sun came up.
The power we're experiencing is almost frightening. Sometimes she thrashes so that I worry she'll brain us both, but overall, it feels very healthy and good. I do not feel drained or depleted, though I could use more sleep today. :-)
She announced that she was ready to learn about Daoist or Tantric sexuality at this stage, so I obtained the White Tigress books and also Mantak Chia's "MultiOrgasmic Couple". I haven't read Mantak Chia in decades, but I never liked his style before. All the counting seems counter-intuitive to me. I haven't gotten too far into the White Tigress books yet, but as others here have mentioned, I've approached them with a lot of skepticism. I'm trying to keep an open mind and give them a chance however.
I'm not sure why I'm even writing this. I guess I just wanted to share this experience and see if anyone has ideas or pointers or suggestions or can recommend reading material we may have missed.
