As the title says I'm beginner, and a bit overwhelmed at all the information I'm reading. I get this way easily anyway, which was one of the reasons I even considered working with qi
Well maybe starting from what led me here will help give guidance to my questions..I realize I made a super long post so just skip to bolded numbers if you dont wanna hear me bear my soul
I am 33yr old female. I had always been social, very active in school and outdoors. In my early 20s I married. It was a rough navigation for me to deal with the weird hormones that finally being sexually active sparked. I have never been the same since.
I developed sleep paralysis with visual and auditory hallucinations. They were straight up tormenting me with their scary and hurtful things. (Stress induces its frequency and quiting my job helped lessen the occurrence- though calling jesus name is the only thing to break the paralysis while its happening). I was once very spiritual and active in my church but trying not to offend my husband I lessened my frequency of service and that eventually lead to me opting not go for years. I miss it terribly and feel empty of my life as that is a major part of me being me. I no longer want to be social it's too taxing (especially if they also have anxiety or are hyperactive), i rarely leave the house as getting all the kids ready- packed then unloaded then loaded back up for home it's too exhausting, even chewing to eat is too exhausting. I have a healthy diet as far as balanced protein fat carb ratio, just lost desire to eat. Averaging about 950-1100 calaries a day. Then cycle comes (and though I'm not hungry and I dont want food) the urge load the heavy meals and sweets gets me. Its lead to a huge health issue. Going from under eating to over eating one week a month..having overthinking, anxiety, getting overwhelmed to point of crying and often I dont know why... of course having 3 large babies (my middle one was 2weeks early bc he was already 10lbs 3oz) didnt help me feel any better about myself. My distasis from such heavy boys is so bad. Its painful to try to physically fix , and exhausting bc I'm soo tired all the time, which lead to suggestion of working with qi. I read it can also help with childhood traumas..is that true?
The only experience I have of qi work was when I was a teen. I did a few months work on a DVD of dr Paul lams 'tia chi 24 forms'. I could eventually feel my qi moving which kinda scared me so I quit the dvds. Lol if I could tell teen me a few things...
The only experience I have with meditation is with my artwork (I am art and horticulture major. My previous mentioned health decline made me quit my bachelor work)..my artwork was my life. It was the only time I really got to zone out and just do whatever felt right. I quit art at home when I had the kids. It was too much of a hassle to keep away from them or drag out for 15min of prep work to then have to pack away again. I feel like I became not me when I got married and had kids. Since I quit the things I loved to make it easier for other ppl..
I live in USA (alabama) and my very small town doesnt have anything remotely related to qigong. (We are just now talking about getting a publix and even that is being stalled). I tried googling qigong teachers, healers; basically anything on a personal level instruction, near me and I found one tia chi teacher about 2hrs away and then several qigong acupuncturists about 5hrs away from me...
So my questions would be;
1). could I still learn enough qi work and meditation to help myself from this type health issues? I have seen drs for years and they just try medication on medication but I'm so sensitive to them (I rarely even take tylenol) that it just made them worse.. I have been off medications for about 4yrs. My last pregnancy, last year, seemed to help balance me a bit. No longer dealt with post partum rage,; I finally had motherly feelings and love like everyone talks about. It makes me cry a lot thinking about it lol. Started probiotics and seen I have slight more energy. Not really feeling it but I'm noticing I'm keeping the house kept up better.
2). I seen that you have to have good foundations in the style you want to practice to get proper benefits..how would I know which styles would be best for me? (I only know a few that were mentioned in threads iv read on this forum)
3). is finding resources online pretty easy since I dont have a bookstore in town? (This forum was literally the first thing that popped up in my google search and I went down the rabbit whole of posts)
4). I seen mention of remote qi work, is that really a thing? How on earth does that work? Seems kinda hard for me to wrap my brain around that.
Please dont kill me for making such long post. I literally have no one to reach out too for anything qigong. My husband is super supportive of helping me get better. He knows ppl can do great things with qi work but he thinks I am weak person. I guess because I gave up the only things that made me happy to make it less of hassle..but input up with a lot of pols words towards me and events in life so I think I am stronger than he realizes.