Anamnesia

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About Anamnesia

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    Dao Bum
  1. Need help with "Hot-eye Symptom"

    Thanks for commenting Kar3n! Thing is, the hot-eye symptom has been occurring for many weeks before my first 100 mcg dose of LSD. I also want to mention that I love your quote: Recognize mind has never once had a thought that wasn't your own choice already. Mindfully choose compassionate thoughts that are a pleasure to experience and the urge to silence thought passes. With no urges, the need to cling to some thought passes with it. That is as an epiphany to me. I have felt the same way. I've noticed that when I try to force my mind to be quiet, and not think the thoughts I don't want to think, it never works; that is as taking a clothes iron to rough water to force it smooth! What does seem to be effective however is consciously (mindfully) choosing which thoughts to think rather than trying not to think at all. It seems it is in our nature to think. If so, and thought cannot be stopped, at least until you've stop trying to do so, it's best to purposely select compassionate and loving thoughts... then the "urge to silence thought passes". I just love that. Thanks again for commenting!
  2. Need help with "Hot-eye Symptom"

    Let me thank all who takes the time to help me with this issue. I will describe as many details that may have something to with my problem as possible, to aid in your diagnostics. Your advice, suggestions, and feedback will be incredibly valuable to me. I've waited a long time to post here to ask this question, hoping my problem would resolve itself, but it hasn't. Here's the issue: I have a physiological problem with my eyes being filled with heat, and I don't know what to do about it, other than around 5 times a day dunking my head in a stream of cold water in my shower until everything cools down. As the eyes are basically reflections of the state of the health of our brain, I am worried that my brain, and by implication, nervous system, may be inflamed to an excessive degree, causing me to feel the sensation of intense heat in and through my eyes after about 3 pm in the day until bed. I will continue talking about this in a minute. First, let me explain something else that I believe is related to this phenomenon (the reason I am here). One of the best resources I have found on the internet on the subject of conservation of one's sexual energies is thedaobums.com. I drew great inspiration from the conversations on the forums that have taken place in the past on here and have learned a great deal from them. I have for the last 12 months successfully for longer and longer periods of time been practicing semen conservation, simultaneous with my practice of meditation, and training my mind to do what I want it to do on demand without delay. Recently, over the course of 4 - 8 weeks, I have for the first time in my entire life felt as though I have made some very real progress in these areas. I have greater control than I have ever before over what I choose to focus on. More and more I am able to look at women, not impulsively as objects to be fetishized about, but as gorgeous beings, realizing how beautiful they really are, and therefore completely undeserving of my sexual objectification and fantasizing. I have more and more dreams as well. They are increasingly becoming vivid too. I actually briefly became lucid in a dream just the other night! I am acing my classes at the university. I have great focus of attention and memory. I feel a sense of power within, a deep self-confidence - I feel as though I can accomplish anything. The world may be in the way of my goals, but by the sheer force of my will I feel as though any obstacle I could overcome. The only limiting factor is my decision to do so. Anyway, the benefits of this practice go on and on. My thought process has been the following: "No more masturbation. I will not do this anymore. If I have a nocturnal emission, that's alright, I will simply put it behind me, and modify my strategies of energy sublimation. The next time I will consciously make the decision to ejaculate/orgasm will be with a woman. I am done taking the easy route and letting my energy's dissipate. I shall learn to control this energy, redirect it, and use this energy to make the changes I want to see in the world." Please know I'm not attaching any moralism whatsoever to masturbation. Of course, there is the formula of the precise frequency of ejaculations one should have based on one's age. (I am 22 years old.) However, it is my desire for good or bad to learn how to transform whatever energy would be lost through ejaculation into something else. (notice I didn't say "higher") So, back to my main problem. I've noticed that the longer I continue in my practice, especially over the last 6 weeks (I've had maybe 4 ejaculations in this time - for me, relative to past frequencies of emission, this is a life record) I have begun to feel intense heat in my eyes. I've been taking cold showers for 6 weeks as well, and during the day when I feel my head get heated I usually turn on my shower, produce as cold a stream of water as possible, and then just put my head under it for 30 seconds to a minute. That always helps for sure. My question is: is this a common experience, this heat in the eyes, causing a slight strain on one's vision even, with men who practice semen conservation? More information: • I sleep grounded via a bamboo sheet made with silver linings running through it. This keeps my system electrically neutral at night at least, and resynchronizes my body's biochemical/circadian rhythms to the rhythms of the earth, and by implication the activity of the sun, because sun -> earth's surface -> grounding -> my body. • I own a medical-grade negative ion generator. In my room can be measured ranging from 10,000 ions per cc of space to 250,000 ions per cc of space depending on how close you are to the generator. It is as if I live under Niagara Falls. • I eat a 90% vegetarian diet, including lots of steamed asparagus, broccoli, some bell peppers, leafy greens, blueberries, kiwis, bananas, grapes, avocados, cucumbers, tomatoes, hemp seeds, carrots, and other things of this kind. I eat only between the hours of 11am - 6ish pm to benefit from the effects of Intermittent Fasting, and also because I noticed eating at these times positively affects my sleep quality. • I eat a handful amount of grass-fed organic turkey about twice a week - that is the limit of my meat intake. • I take nootropics on a regular basis, taking the weekends off from all supplementation to restore brain homeostasis. These include substances in various dosages, usually on the very low end below what is a recommended dose, such as: Alpha-GPC (150 mg once a day) Piracetam (800 mg once in the morning, 3-4 times a week) Aniracetam (750 mg, maybe once or twice a week) Mega Hydrate (Negatively Charged Hydrogen Ions in a capsule basically) MSM (4 grams taken most days) DHA and EPA sourced from Algea Phosphatidylcholine (500mg - 1.5 g a day, taken occasionally) Phosphatidylserine (maybe 300 mg a day) ALCAR (usually less than 200 mg a day) Garden of Life's multivitamin Pycnogenol (100 mg once a day) And finally I take my favorite long term brain health stack called Mind Lab Pro, which contains things like Bacopa (150 mg), Lion's Mane Mushroom (500 mg), Rhodiola Rosea (50 mg), Vitamin B6 and Vitamin B12 at the proper RDA dosages, N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine (175mg), and Vinpocetine. • I have been on a 5 week hiatus from my best friend cannabis, if it matters. • I've used psychedelics, most heroic doses of mushrooms, beyond a year ago. What really hammered home to me that I have this problem with "hot-eyes" was last weekend when I first experienced the effects of 100 micrograms of LSD. At least ten times I had to dunk my head under cold water. My mind was set free and I assure you I witnessed impossible-to-describe three-dimensional highly complex fractal geometric mandala-like diamondal superstructures in the space of my inner vision (behind closed eye lids), and the experience I would rate as within the top 10 experiences of my life. It was fantastic. I learned all kinds of things, especially an awareness of the importance of the posture of my spine. I could literally see and feel my energy field. I was astonished. I wondered "this must be how people get into energy medicine". If I could see what I see on LSD permanently, I would become a healer, no doubt about it. I envision I could single handedly change the world if I had that kind of vision. I wonder if it is possible to gain this sort of visual and empathic access to these energy fields around all objects and living things without the use of LSD. If so, I consider myself a student in training and deeply desire instruction. Anyway, my "hot-eye" symptom seemed to detract from my experience. I could just feel my brain and eyes becoming incredibly heated. No, I wasn't worried my brain was melting. It just felt analogous to what happens to a computer processor when it is taxed maximally. Supercomputers for example require some kind of liquid cooling to keep them from overheating. This occurred to me on LSD. To return to my main point and I ask you all this: Is there a relationship between the heat in my head and especially in my eyes that seems to become felt after midday, and the energies that are building up in my system as a result of my practice of semen conservation? I've been moving mountains at university, reading all kinds of books like I never have before, I'm running often - the point is I'm not just sitting around letting the energy stagnate; I am actively on purpose trying to use it up, because I naturally feel compelled to move and do things with all this energy I have when I refuse to ejaculate. It's very pleasurable indeed. I just don't enjoy feeling like my eyes are on fire. In conclusion, if you have read all this, thank you very much for your time and if you have any thoughts on the matter I will very much appreciate to see them! Peace