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About Desmonddf

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  1. Permission and Place of Posting

    I have been granted a Personal Practice space in which to share this work. For those interested, this is the link.
  2. Seeking personal power - Good or bad?

    Lets say you seek personal power and achieve some degree of power. What happens them? Do you keep seeking power? The power you sought, what does it do to you, and what is the cost of mantaining it? If you seek power because of a personal trauma, need or ilusion, you'll only become more and more engrossed in it. If you seek power with a reason, to get somewhere, then you'll need to be able to use the power you have as a tool. But what can be used to control power? What can be used to submit it, so it will be a tool in your hands? Using power to control your power (like using willpower to control your control over external qigong) will only lead you deeper in this rabbit hole. Something which is not power must be used to control your power. Some people say it is love. Love can indeed control power, but then what controls love? What happens when you are out of love to give ? It is not a good answer, as it will limit your control over your power to a feeling, and feelings are fleeting. A bad day can be your ruin, the ruin of your power/empire or the ruin of those precious to you. I say it is bonding. Having bonds which are clear and precise. Which remain in the face of fleeting feelings, and which are wide and safe. As long as your bonds keep your power in check, you can have power. However, what controls your bonds, then? If left for themselves, they will just grow randomly and may become abominations as well.... This is a cascade of thought which relates to the nature of checks-and-balances. Not political ones, but the ones from inside. The end result is harmony. You can and you MUST have as much power as your own harmony with the world and nature allows to. Power will be one of the checks-and-balances, one of the Tools which bring you inner balance. However, in order to achieve this kind of power, there can be no limitating and linear thinking and control. You cannot think exclusively of ways to gain power and how to reach your objectives. Otherwise, you would be being controlled by your thoughts, and then there is no harmony - as your thoughts themselves must be tools to reach balance. Planning and seeking must come naturaly, without desire. When you need power to regain balance, you must "seek" it and "plan" how to get it in the same way you "seek" your kitchen when you're thirsty, and "plan how to" get a glass of water to quench that thrist. I believe this is mostly what it means "not to seek power".
  3. Greetings. I've been getting deeper and deeper into my mystical and religious practices recently, and came across a chance I've taken with much pleasure. It is my belief, after a series of mystical experiences, that my aspiration has been seen, and the Queen Mother of the West has given me the benefit of channeling a Dao. It is called the Dao of Peaches, and it accompanies a cultivation method. Also channeled. As of this moment, I have received only the first part of the first chapter of this Dao. I have as well been permited to share it with others, in order to study, expand comprehension and and bring benefits to all. I cannot say all of it will be shared. It stands to reason that I will follow the goddess' instructions in regards to what should and what shouldn't be shared, if it so happens that something must be kept secret. Can I post this Dao (or, at least, the translation of what I received, since it has been channeled in my native language) somewhere in this forum? What about its cultivation method? Can it be posted once I have received it?
  4. Well... you see, there's the thing. You are god. You are the creator. You did the world, the trash and yourself. And at the same time, you are not. Gods are beings beyond duality. Beyond "existence" and "not existence". They can exist. The can not exist. They can be something that both exists and doesn't exists at the same time. And that's why I believe you have no idea what a god is and had no mystical experience with one before. Because all of your hatred, all of your "this is all made up shit" well... they can make it be. They can make it be that they do not exist, and that all religions are shit without meaning, and that death is "just the end". But, from personal experience, let me give you advice: It is very, very difficult to earn the benefit of "ceasing to exist after you die". And I don't say you'll go to hell. You can, if you want to. But it is just very hard to cease "being". The whole point of many buddhist doctrines is exactly to do that, to cease "being". To realize emptiness inside of you, and be empty. That's the first step for those who are in a path of enlightment, and it is a hard one. It is not something that regular and simple death can give. It has to be earned. Anyhow. Good luck with your atheistic rebellious "i'm in pain and I hate and dessecrate with my attitude everything you all say is precious and sacred" thing. I've been there, i've done that. Be present a small dose of wisdom from someone who has seen and felt what you're living through: There is a way out. Trashing and screaming and crying about the unfairness of the world doesn't help to get there. The more you treat the rest of world as being unfair, the less they will feel any remorse in being exactly what you say the are: Unfair, unforgiving and uncaring. Try to accept the existence and presence of your pain, work around it and capacitate yourself to live life, even while in pain. It is bloody difficult, but it is also the first step to have something in your life other than pain.
  5. You're comparing multiple systems with a modern physicallist worldview. They will both look like the same thing, and also mean completely different things, simply because they do not talk about the same stuff at all. For instance, let's compare Ancient Chinese Anatomy and Modern Anatomy. In Ancient Chinese Anatomy, the Lungs where drawn as these "leafy" pieces of meat inside your ribcage. Quite different from modern lung anatomy., which clearly state that the lungs are those two big red meat bags on the sides of your heart. Ancient Chinese Anatomy Modern Anatomy. Now, where the ancient chinese stupid enough not to know how to differentiate "true lungs" between people's meats? Most probably not. Because in reality, there is no clear distinction. It is fabricated through international agreements and modern academic discussion. I won't post it here since it would be too graphic, but a real intact human body doesn't have those beautiful, "clean and shaved" red sacks of meat inside it. There is conjunctive tissue. There is connective tissue. There are the pleural sacks, there is a lot of stuff that modern anatomy simply says "oh, that's not the lung, it's an acessory tissue which is right next to the lung". Ancient chinese doctors couldn't give a damn about the details modern anatomists have. Lung, pleural sack, a lot of nearby connective tissue.... all of that was simply categorized as "lung". That kind of detail makes a LOT of difference, because the whole concept of what an entire organ is, is different from one system of medicine to the other. And that means the whole physiology, medicinal thinking and diagnosys is different as well.
  6. How Much Can DT Store

    My view on QiGong is one in which Qi is a real thing. A substance on the body. So, yes, there is a limit. It increases with time and practice, and it can quite easily be felt once you feel the literal sensation of having a full DT. If you try to put any more in there, you'll feel pain. That being said, I wouldn't go and just compress any kind of Qi into my DT. The best method to avoid getting anxiety if the Qi in your abdomen "escapes" is to store the right kind of Qi (either Yuan Qi or at least Zheng Qi). I know that most schools teach people to store any form of Yang Qi, but that's... quite unbalanced. If you store healthy and refined Qi which has gone through multiple purifications, it will be a blessing for it to "escape"... because it will calm you down, bring well-being and balance for your body, mind and souls.
  7. Gods usually don't care if you hate them. That said, good luck them. Depression and hatred are quite useless to alleviate your pain though. Do consider that you may need to give up on your hatred and other rebellious behavior in order to find freedom from pain. That or start chugging opioids. I'm pretty sure you can get some Vicodin or even Morphine, since you have chronic peripheral neuropathy.
  8. "When the student is ready, the master appears"

    Once someone decides to be a Master, they are not gods. They are only capable enough in a field to teach others. However, their own teaching methods and means may be harmfull to those who are not ready to be under them. The most accomplished masters need the least from their disciples, and can turn even a bafoon in a sage. The least accomplished masters need the more from their disciples, and trying to guide someone who isn't "whorty" (is in harmony with their own way and means) may bring estagnation or even injury to those he tries to guide. Between the greatest masters and the novice and inexperienced masters, there is a huge array of more or less accomplished ones. "Being ready" as a student means merely to find the one who is the most adequate for you. Which will also be looking for you - as if he is the most adequate master to you, them you are the most adequate pupil for him.
  9. The self-imposed punishments one learns to give themselves in case of being wrong. It may lead to such intense self-punishing or servilience that it risks one's life.
  10. I usually don't recommend this to people, as it is dangerous and may lead to death. However, I suppose you are an exception to the rule. Pray to Kali. Pray to Kalki. Shiva and Rudra. Sleep everynight at 10pm, no least no more. Keep your diet and other stuff as you already do them. There is no need to offer libation or pooja. Keep it simple. Say devotion mantras and be respectfull. You can build a ligan out of clay and offer water to it. Most of the symptoms should disappear in three weeks time. At that time you'll feel a great passion. And you'll then prepare a ritual. Prepare yourself for it. You'll ask for the blessings and protection of the gods and goddesses of destruction and renewal. And you'll go through the cremation fields of your mind. Buy sandalwood incense, use white clothes for two days prior to the ritual. Buy three candles - they must have a duration of at least 8 hours each. Now, you can do it sober or you can do it with the help of psychedellic mushrooms. By doing it sober, you'll suffer more. But the risk of death is smaller. By doing it with properly prepared amanita muscaria mushrooms you'll suffer less, but the risk of death is greater. The method of preparation is to lightly cook the caps of the mushrooms in an open oven (in nature you would do it next to a fire in a ceramic pot). The temperature must not go beyond 80ºC. You can find more details (time of preparation, how to find real amanita muscaria, etc) in especialized foruns in the internet. Once the mushroom caps are prepared, prepare a mix of gee and honey. Gently cover the mushrooms with the mixture, and offer them to the gods. (Kalki, Kali, Shiva, Rudra). You can light one of the three candles and let it next to the candle. Light one of the sandalwood incenses. You can also look for Durga, if you feel the need to do so. Avoid Indra or Bhraman. It is not the time for them. You can seek reffuge in Krisna or Visnu, may it become too intense. The dosage is 3 dried grams. You'll ingest the mushrooms at your usual sleep time. Light the remaining two candles. And then pray. It will be hell. But it will release you from hell.
  11. I know there is supposed to be some deeper meaning to this post's title, but all I can think when I look at it is: "Well, they surely can't understand something if they are dead, can they?". "Qi only on his lower abdomen" is such a misuse of the term. It is literally impossible to only have Qi in one's lower abdomen. All forms of Qi used for cultivation must pass through one's entire body from time to time. No Qi that estagnates on one place and doesn't move is a healthy form of Qi useable for cultivation. Only cold-dampness Xie Qi has such characteristic.
  12. What exactly is neidan/internal alchemy?

    A plethora of ways to elude the mind while grounding the spirit with experiences and sensations that promote spiritual advancement. More especificaly, ways embedded in chinese culture and history, traditionaly lived with quite a bit of fanaticism and usually kept or destroyed by bloodshed. So... the same old. Ok. Being a little bit less of an asshole here. We cannot define with precision what neigong/internal alchemy is because it was a free practice, created and practiced by isolated individuals/small groups with only their own viewpoints on philosophical and metaphysical matters as basys. There is a "common ground", yes. The focus on the Dao and some other esoteric elements that accompany the chinese culture ever since before the Han Dynasty, with roots as deep in the times of legends as the gods will have them. But those themselves are still quite loosely connected, since it boils down to a difuse array of mystical experiences, interpretations and creations by thousands of people of many worldviews and backgrounds, and not to a single unified doctrine. If you take a certain branch of neigong, then it will be more precise and more easy to define. But to define the whole thing is... quite complicated. It is just too vast.
  13. Moral character of Qi

    Qi is not the physical body and many spiritualist religions would even consider it to be a part of one's soul, not physical matter. Daoism does say one must work to purify their body.... AND soul AND spirit, not only the body. There are many types of Qi, and some are even more subtle than the more dense souls. There is pollution to one's Soul as much as there is to one's Qi. Qi is considered to be Yin, not Yang. One's Yang include the Souls and Qi. One's Yin include Blood and Marrow. Purifying one's Yin is something done much latter at cultivation, after purifying one's Yang. Not because it is impossible to purify the Yin first, just because it is WAY harder and WAY more dangerous to purify one's Yin without a pure Yang to help in the process. And so on. Careful not to project your own desires and ideas upon Daoism and its practices. If you're searching for a doctrine that says "work with your body to achieve spiritual purity", go for it. There's plenty of Yoga and esoteric Martial Arts around which can help you with that. Just not neigong or qigong. On those, body, breath and mind must work togheter. Not only the body.
  14. Be careful with visualization. It is very easy to become entangled in imagination instead.
  15. Will is always bound by either Desire or Nature. It is its birthplace, its origin. There is no Will that comes from nothingness. Therefore, there is no Will without a mother, a father, a Master. All Free Will is only illusion. Illusion of Freedom illusion of unlimited power. And so is all form of Chaos. For it also has a Mother, it also has a Master.