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About tlkdww

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    Dao Bum
  1. I agree with this. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When the students is really ready... the teacher will disappear"-Lao Tzu I cannot see tai chi as a purely gymnastic form, especially since I've had a BMI of 15 and wouldn't have been able to walk or move at all if it wasn't for taoist tai chi. It involves many things, and once you've got "the form" down, you work on many different things. As I've said, group practice is mostly easier unless someone (or more) are having a hard time and it shoots through. As far as the closing eyes, it's gone now! I don't feel them wanting to close anymore. Maybe in a few years I'll find out what it was
  2. Thanks Rara! I appreciate it!
  3. I haven't mentioned this to my teacher yet. I will if it doesn't pass or worsens. I thought maybe one of you had felt something similar and could help me understand. It's only been happening in class since I don't really practice at home... I don't practice at home because everything gets crazy intense. Practicing in groups is much easier sometimes (or sometimes it will drain me completely) and helps me open consciousness vs. focusing so much on myself. When I get stable I'll practice at home. I'm not really fit. I've had JRA for a decade now and am taking medication. I cannot say I'm doing it against my will even though I hate the fact that I'm taking it. Basically I still live with my parents and the two attempts I've made to get out of my house, live independently and quit meds has always resulted in me being more dependent on them (relapsed and couldn't be self sufficient). Therefore, I think there's a reason why I'm still with them and I should stay. I believe that, at the right time, an opportunity will present itself for me to get out and quit medication, and so it will be. For now, for my mental and emotional health, I have to be acceptant. I take care of myself by eating well (according to Ayurveda most of the time) and try to live simply. Mentally and emotionally I've made a lot of progress over these past 3 years and have overcome a lot of bad habits (negative and self destructive thoughts and emotions). I'm just trying to do the best I can with what I've got at the moment. Thanks again for everyone's help and input!
  4. The things is I've been practicing for 3 years now and have never felt the urge to close my eyes. Doing that makes me disconnect from the group, which would be great sometimes (lol) but that's not the instruction and I trust the teacher and the teachings. The difference now is that at some time when I'm practicing, my eyes will want to close (eyelids feeling incredibly heavy) and I will close them. Then I'll remember I'm supposed to keep them open and force myself to open them. Like I said, it's not because I'm tired or whatever, it just happens, without consciously intending to, When it happens I'll just stop and sit down in a meditative posture and feel confused. I'll try to explore it further and let you guys know.
  5. Thank you all! That's really helpful. I try to trust my instincts but I do get scared sometimes... I'll let it be and let you know how it goes!
  6. So in Taoist Tai Chi, which is what I practice, you don't control the breathing because that gets in the way of your process of change. The breathing will change naturally and you just let go. Personally, if I had to control my breath while practicing the arts I would go crazy. I control too much as it is, I certainly do not need to add breathing to that list Letting go each and every day is what helps me the most. So that applies if you're intentionally directing/changing/controlling your breath. Being mindful about what is happening in the body while not attaching to it and being quiet, I think that's really good. Being mindful or aware, instead of interfering with the process. Hope that helps!
  7. Hello all, I have many many questions, but what's been really on my mind lately is why I feel like I need to close my eyes during my tai chi practice. This hadn't happened before... I understand that in some traditions you close your eyes during meditation/others but in the tradition I'm following you want to have your eyes open to be grounded, have awareness and be connected, and not drift off into your own little world. It's not like I'm tired and get sleepy, I don't think it's because I achieve relaxation, it's hard to explain. A lot of things happen to me all the time, phyisical changes and just weird feelings, and understanding what is happening helps me a lot. Has anyone of you ever experienced something like this before?
  8. Just joined

    Hello to all, I'm 25 years old and am currently living in Costa Rica, which is a strange place to encounter Taoism. I've had JRA for a decade now and got into taoism by practicing Taoist Tai Chi, which has basically saved my life. Yesterday I was researching differences between Chi Gung and Nei Gung and came across this page "by coincidence". I read the topic "The effects of my Nei kung practice" by Synthesist and was amazed by how much of what was there applied to me. I'm really excited to discover the contents of this page and to have found people discussing topics that for many of us are off limits. Thank you and see you around! PS I apologize for any gramar/spelling/syntax errors