Jill Morgyn

I liked this. I'm there with you. Happy to me equates with peace. Because there are all those other states of being that I used to equate with being happy when I was younger, like euporia, elation, a rush of adrenaline, romantic crushes, or drug highs ... now I know that was more about neurochemistry than anything : ) Now for me happy = I am alive and I am living life consciously. Emotions do their thing, but happiness = some space inside me carved out by 10 years of Buddhist meditation practice - which I wouldn't have to even do if I was a tree instead of a human. xo J.

Hello Tao Bums, So this is a question I've been kicking around myself lately, and I'd love to hear others' thoughts on this. For those of us practicing/pursuing higher-level energy work beyond the physical martial arts, there is this issue in the student community of some people becoming destabilized during the training to the extent of a "psychotic" episode - or perhaps more kindly, getting pushed so seriously off the edge of your "known area", that one loses the ego completely and stops being able to function normally, for a period of time (or even permanently, I have heard in some cases). Now - if it isn't too severe, it can be a kind of "death before dying" experience, that results in a new stage of awareness along the enlightenment process, but let's be honest, there has got to be a way of going through that that is less traumatic and life-disruptive! I'm sure it's happened to some of you, or other students you know, or you've gone looking for teachers and found some of these folks who have accomplished a high level of training but became destabilized and have serious problems still. Enough to make you walk away. I know myself, after quite a few years now exploring a number of different lineages, I am now very -shall we say- discerning. The question for me is - what do you think this is all about? Does this happen in all the lineages? Is it happening more in some than others? Do you think it's due to psychic attack when the fear door gets thrown open too wide, or unresolved trauma incidents, or not enough focus on clearing exercises first, or not enough time meditating before embarking on cultivation exercises, or the teacher's lack of holding a safe space, or 'negs', or karma, or ...something else? You don't have to mention specific lineages (unless you want to). I'd love to hear what your take is on the subject, because I think it's definitely an issue in the qigong community. At least, I believe it is. Cheers, a solitary Taoist hermit (sans lineage)

Very interesting description - I will look up the link. I'd like to hear more. Maybe in pm, since I understand the whole public forum issue. Thanks for sharing. edit: for clarity. Karen: Steiner is great. "Guardian of the Threshold" reminds me of Robert Bruce. I think it's interesting that some externalize the trauma and create a "dragon" to fight against - not all traditions do this. At any rate, the study of the ways that different schools approach the shadow is always interesting. I haven't read that particular book - will add it to my shelf.

Wow. I have to say I'm having a visceral response to this thread and feeling quite sick at the moment. This thread is filled with hate. There is no discussion here of the karmic repercussions of draining the life force energy of another person and using it to further your own spiritual development. There is also no understanding of the female experience and it is troubling to encounter such a selfish view of the world (i.e. I am the center of it and everything else "out there" is a smorgasborg of stuff to serve my own personal agenda). As a warrior-monk-scholar soul, currently incarnated in a female physical body, I have encountered male taoists who view women as a "yin tonic" and now that I have had the experience of being in a woman's body with the degree of enlightenment I have, I am saddened by the male's lack of awareness of just how aware and complex a female-incarnated soul actually is, and how different our experience is being always subjugated in life to the male arrogant and self-serving agenda. I also suspect the reason I'm currently in a female body is because I was a man like the ones commenting in this particular thread at some point and I am now being humbled by the realization of just how misguided the buddhist-taoist anti-woman ideologies are. Excuse me while I take a few weeks away from this forum to recover from reading this thread.

Hi there, Yes, I'm familiar with things both of you are talking about here - the "too much energy in the head" condition that can arise anytime during transitions where more energy starts to enter/circulate through the body. I am an acupuncture/TCM/qigong student but I'm particularly focusing these days on trauma and PTSD, and what I'm seeing is that 1) there are a number of people (men and women both) who have PTSD who -as part of their healing-search- end up pursuing qigong, and 2) this frequently leads to debilitating "qi deviations" for these folks (some people recover and keep going, some recover to an extent but get to a point and then don't go any further, and others (haven't met these ones but have just heard anecdotal stories) do not come back from insanity. I'm starting to make this my personal area of research and expertise - this situation. I've spoken to alot of people - practitioners, masters, sufferers - on the issue. I'm starting to feel that it is a real issue in the qigong community. I'm not just talking about having a bit too much energy in the head and having to ground out. In the case of PTSD, when people get pushed off the edge of the table, as Carlos Castenada puts it, some very serious things can go awry. People get suicidal, or so raw they have to go permanently into retreat, or they can no longer hold down a job and keep the "day-to-day ego" as mwight puts it, functioning at all. As I understand it, there are ghost points in acupuncture for addressing this type of destabilization and in some lineages, soul retrieval and exorcism practices too, depending on your view of things. I guess I'm wondering if any of your lineages address this. Do you think there's enough focus on pre-clearing work in your studies. Do you think there is adequate support given to students who get pushed into a state of real crisis? It sounds as though perhaps neither of you have encountered this, so in that case, that's ok too! But if there's anybody here that it resonates with, I'd love to hear what you have to say. I am working on a book and I believe I am going to end up specializing in this area. aloha -J. edit: spelling. PS- just read "Trunk's" post too. Have to say that although you folks are addressing the "integrating new levels of awareness while grounding" aspect, which isn't quite what I was getting at, it's all very interesting, and I appreciate reading the things you have to say. - J.

Aloha. My name is Jill Morgyn. I'm a student of Taoism, meditator, scholar and qigong practitioner. I write literary poetry, enjoy reading the Chan/Zen poetry of ancient China and Japan (in English translation), and I like to practice calligraphy. I am focused on Nature. I am active in conservation efforts where I live. I like to seek out Masters in their hiding places and ask them questions. I study Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture. I have a blog on evolving warrior philosophy called "Way of Pen and Sword" - http://wayofpenandsword.blogspot.com/ I'm interested in hearing what people in the community have to say about the path. I'll post some questions once I'm not so new ; ) JM