Jump to content


Photo

Proved methods of celibacy.


  • Please log in to reply
72 replies to this topic

#49 mindtooloud

mindtooloud

    o;h

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 553 posts
  • Gender:None Selected
  • Location:Saudi Arabia
  • Interests:contents of a quiet mind

Posted 16 July 2016 - 09:55 AM

Because at best you never read the Sira, nor the Hadith.
At worst, you're performing da'wa...

I've read both and doubt the religion. I just don't see what makes you think he's a terrible person.

#50 Cheshire Cat

Cheshire Cat

    Cat blessing sentient beings

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1206 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Interests:Yoga, Tantra, Meditation,Kabbalah, Sufism, Gnosis, Comparative Religion/Tradition, Health, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Neuroscience, Energy Work, Neidan, Neigong, Kung Fu, Honey, Tribal warfare, Spirits, Shamanism, Beer + orange juice, Sex

Posted 16 July 2016 - 10:27 AM

I've read both and doubt the religion. I just don't see what makes you think he's a terrible person.

 

I mean that he had a terrible behaviour with non-muslim (kafir).

 

According to the Sira, the sacred biography of Mohammed, he was involved in over 65 acts of jihad, or as we say today, 65 acts of terror. And that was in a 9 year period.

Mohammed was violent in every way. He assassinated those who opposed him, enslaved thousands and sold them for money to wage jihad, he tortured men to death for money, tortured slaves to get information from them, created a policy of rape of Kafir women and on and on.



#51 Jim D.

Jim D.

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 739 posts
  • Gender:None Selected

Posted 16 July 2016 - 10:39 AM

Deep practice of Baguaquan makes you celibate and fully focused on the path. But temptation is constant so one must persevere and never give up, eventually lust is completely DELETED. :)

 

Why is it important? Because jing (semen is the external aspect of it) is energy and you need heaps of it in order to fully open your mind and become one with everything.

 

I tried celebacy (if you mean no intercourse, or masturbation) when I was in my 40's and the side affects were anxiety. I would compare it to being hungry all the time. :unsure: Meditation was very much a part of my daily routine.


  • blue eyed snake said thanks for this

#52 liminal_luke

liminal_luke

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1719 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 16 July 2016 - 10:51 AM

Proven methods of celibacy: A few tips

 

Don´t look at porn.  Don´t look at sexy hook-up profiles online and work yourself up imagining the possibilities.  When an attractive person invites you up to their boudoir to look at their etchings, say no.

 

Did I miss anything?


Edited by liminal_luke, 16 July 2016 - 11:13 AM.

  • Jox and blue eyed snake said thanks for this

#53 blue eyed snake

blue eyed snake

    slithering serpent

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1140 posts
  • Gender:None Selected
  • Location:here
  • Interests:being

Posted 16 July 2016 - 11:18 AM

I tried celebacy (if you mean no intercourse, or masturbation) when I was in my 40's and the side affects were anxiety. I would compare it to being hungry all the time. :unsure: Meditation was very much a part of my daily routine.

 

well...being a woman maybe I should not intrude in this thread, but...methinks the idea of celibacy is to find a state where-ein you're not ' hungry' all the time anymore. And Liminals advice seems practical to me.

I suppose someone refraining from intercourse and masturbation who is all the time thinking about it, would do better to get himself laid 

 

I think when you have found that ' not-hungry' state, and are rooted in it, all the energy you would have spend thinking about sex becomes free to use for other things.


  • liminal_luke said thanks for this
There is only one truth, but it has many manifestations.

The mystery of life is not a problem to solve but a reality to experience.

#54 liminal_luke

liminal_luke

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1719 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 16 July 2016 - 11:39 AM

methinks the idea of celibacy is to find a state where-ein you're not ' hungry' all the time anymore. 

 

 

I think this is the secret.  Seems so obvious, but like so many things, it´s easier in theory than in practice. Reminds me of that saying from 12 step literature: half-measures availed us nothing

 

If you want to avoid sex, you´ve got to really avoid sex. Many people say they want to be celibate but are short on follow through.  They think...I´ll just look at these pictures of naked women but I won´t jack off...I´ll just have sex but I won´t ejaculate...I´ll just enjoy flirting at the bar but I won´t take anybody home...and so on.  In my experience, this doesn´t work.


  • blue eyed snake said thanks for this

#55 blue eyed snake

blue eyed snake

    slithering serpent

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1140 posts
  • Gender:None Selected
  • Location:here
  • Interests:being

Posted 16 July 2016 - 01:19 PM

I think this is the secret.  Seems so obvious, but like so many things, it´s easier in theory than in practice. Reminds me of that saying from 12 step literature: half-measures availed us nothing

 

If you want to avoid sex, you´ve got to really avoid sex. Many people say they want to be celibate but are short on follow through.  They think...I´ll just look at these pictures of naked women but I won´t jack off...I´ll just have sex but I won´t ejaculate...I´ll just enjoy flirting at the bar but I won´t take anybody home...and so on.  In my experience, this doesn´t work.

 

yep,

 

this seems to be a mainly male topic but some females have an issue with it too, and there is another thingy.

 

i remember, after my divorce I went out hunting happily, in my marriage it was not me having a headache.

 

I'm a choosy woman but found enough playmates to suit me. After some years i decided it was time to quit. A real decision like: i will not do it anymore, it was fun and now its over ( only when i meet a guy that i would like to share the rest of my life with i will renege on this decision)

 

so eh, the week after that decision three of these guys whom I had left behind  through the years contacted me, by phone, mail and one on my doorstep, all three with the same message...how about it Bes... so universe seemed to test my decision ( i mean, i was not that popular... i kept to one guy until the fun was over and then started looking for the next one, so  a score of three in one week was sort of strange... <_< But I stood firm and after some months the hunger was over.

 

But for guys it seems to be harder than for girls


  • liminal_luke and Jox said thanks for this
There is only one truth, but it has many manifestations.

The mystery of life is not a problem to solve but a reality to experience.

#56 liminal_luke

liminal_luke

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1719 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 16 July 2016 - 01:42 PM

 After some years i decided it was time to quit. A real decision like: i will not do it anymore

 

This business of making a "real decision" -- what a life skill that is.  Making promises to ourselves and being trustworthy to keep them.  I´m not very good at this, sorry to say, but it´s something I´m working on.  My mom says sticking to a healthy diet isn´t really hard once you´ve really decided to do it.  I think she´s right.

 

I think it helps to get really clear on the reason(s) for the decision, why it´s important.  And also to acknowledge openly what sacrifices the decision entails.  For example, if I´m hooking up with people outside of a relationship and want to change that, it would be good to get clear about the good stuff that that behavior gets me.  I feel good about myself when someone wants me sexually.  When I´m anxious, looking for sex takes my mind off my worries. Sex is something to do when I´m bored.  

 

Also, make a plan for what you´ll do when the going gets hard.  It´s easy (and fun!) to decide how you´re going to change your life.  But eventually obstacles to your plan are bound to appear, and you need to know what you´re going to do when they do.

 

Just some thoughts.


  • Jox and blue eyed snake said thanks for this

#57 blue eyed snake

blue eyed snake

    slithering serpent

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1140 posts
  • Gender:None Selected
  • Location:here
  • Interests:being

Posted 16 July 2016 - 02:02 PM

This business of making a "real decision" -- what a life skill that is.  Making promises to ourselves and being trustworthy to keep them.  I´m not very good at this, sorry to say, but it´s something I´m working on.  My mom says sticking to a healthy diet isn´t really hard once you´ve really decided to do it.  I think she´s right.

 

you may be a little younger than I am, still time to learn. And this decision of mine, well, I just wanted more out of sex, it had become sorta empty. And that may be a difference between men and women

 

I think it helps to get really clear on the reason(s) for the decision, why it´s important.  And also to acknowledge openly what sacrifices the decision entails.  For example, if I´m hooking up with people outside of a relationship and want to change that, it would be good to get clear about the good stuff that that behavior gets me.  I feel good about myself when someone wants me sexually.  When I´m anxious, looking for sex takes my mind off my worries. Sex is something to do when I´m bored.  

 

I feel good too when a guy is interested, but does not mean I have to act on it. What you write is very to the point though, sex is something that keeps our mind off worries, makes us feel wanted, and you wanna do it when you're bored. so...that's all moments that you could use to look inside, why am I bored ( being bored is the best moment to meditate btw) being anxious, what makes you anxious,    so in that sense, getting out to have sex ( or even have it with your partner) can be a way to get away from your real feelings that want to be looked at, to be reaaly felt...something like that

 

Also, make a plan for what you´ll do when the going gets hard.  It´s easy (and fun!) to decide how you´re going to change your life.  But eventually obstacles to your plan are bound to appear, and you need to know what you´re going to do when they do.

 

yeah...shortly before I fell ill I was sorely tempted, happily he seemed to have made some sort of decision too, so I was saved from my folly , but still...last time I saw him I promised him that after i'm healthy again i'll try to seduce him  :blush:  :D 

 

Just some thoughts.


  • liminal_luke and Jox said thanks for this
There is only one truth, but it has many manifestations.

The mystery of life is not a problem to solve but a reality to experience.

#58 liminal_luke

liminal_luke

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1719 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 16 July 2016 - 02:53 PM

Thanks for your thoughts BES,

 

About me being younger than you, I´m not so sure about that.  But I agree that it´s never too late.  I hope I continue to work at becoming the best version of myself until my dying day.  

 

I think guys find superficial sex empty, too.  The stereotype is that men want sex no matter what and aren´t so picky about whether or not it´s meaningful.  That´s not my experience or the experience of my close men friends.  I think guys want meaningful connections just as much as women do -- even, and perhaps especially, when it looks to the casual observer that they are doing everything possible to avoid that kind of intimacy.  

 

Sex is an effective way to lessen feelings of anxiety, but, as you point out, probably not the most healthiest option in that instance.  We´d certainly learn more developing the capacity to sit with the anxiety or whatever and figure out what´s going on.  Actually lots of things can help with anxiety -- drinking, pot, buying shoes, gambling -- doesn´t make them good choices.  


Edited by liminal_luke, 16 July 2016 - 02:54 PM.

  • Jox and blue eyed snake said thanks for this

#59 Jim D.

Jim D.

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 739 posts
  • Gender:None Selected

Posted 16 July 2016 - 04:12 PM

When I was in my 20's (and I keep reminding myself and others about the amount of time that has gone by for me.  It is a point of referrence and a bench mark) I was burdened with a great deal of anxiety. So much so, that a 13 year history of "doing what I wanted to do, and I am doing it" attitude led to being locked down in a Psych. Ward. During this 13 year period, sex helped me to stop the squirrel cage, rumminating thoughts, and worrying about the future and the past especailly in the moment of ejaculation. I would equate it with being in heaven for that brief 8 second period of time. No drug or alcohol has ever been able to duplicate that feeling.

 

During my 20's and later 30's, making love to a woman was the only way I felt in control and actively loved by the person I was with. If she paid attention to me, and seemed to love me back was evidence that she loved me.

 

Celibacy isn't for me. Now, having sex as part of a relationship is not all that important either. It is not necessary but nice to have. In this moment in my life's journey, it is not a deal breaker. I would rather be with a woman that cherishes me, sees me as being part of a team, where I feel safe, supported, like I belong, and am cared about, accepted, and special to her.

 

I just wanted to know how it is that anyone would not want to have the feeling of being inside that someone they loved. And it was their goal, what would be so wonderful that would replace that feeling.

 

Please explain. Thank you.



#60 liminal_luke

liminal_luke

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1719 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 16 July 2016 - 04:22 PM

Thanks for sharing your experience Jim.  I don´t understand your question at the end.  Do you mean why would a person want to choose celibacy?



#61 Jim D.

Jim D.

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 739 posts
  • Gender:None Selected

Posted 16 July 2016 - 05:53 PM

Let me ask the question in a different way. What is it in celibacy that is so wonderfull to lead a man or woman to want celibacy over "cumming?"



#62 liminal_luke

liminal_luke

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 1719 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 16 July 2016 - 06:07 PM

I can´t really speak to your question from personal experience (which, I think, is what you´d prefer), but there are some schools of thought that think refraining from ejaculation is necessary for for deep spiritual work, taoist alchemy and stuff like that.  Of course, others think that´s bunk.


Edited by liminal_luke, 16 July 2016 - 06:07 PM.


#63 Jim D.

Jim D.

    Dao Bum

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 739 posts
  • Gender:None Selected

Posted 16 July 2016 - 06:33 PM

A personal account would be most helpful.



#64 mindtooloud

mindtooloud

    o;h

  • The Dao Bums
  • Pip
  • 553 posts
  • Gender:None Selected
  • Location:Saudi Arabia
  • Interests:contents of a quiet mind

Posted 17 July 2016 - 03:33 AM

Let me ask the question in a different way. What is it in celibacy that is so wonderfull to lead a man or woman to want celibacy over "cumming?"


I myself amstruggling with this right now. But my reason is to be able to cultivate energy and meditate, when i release i can't meditate properly for a while. And i lose focus.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users